Was I Just Punk’d???

I left an interview today thinking, WTF…..

I applied with a very large equipment company a few weeks ago. After a phone interview and an assessment test I got a face to face interview today.

I studied the company history, product, services, locations, who owns the company, stocks, etc. I wore a  smoky grey pant suit with a button up white crisp shirt, black heels, pearls, everything was in check. I was prepped, confident, schooled, energetic and super pumped.

As I walked into the lobby I smelled smoke and noticed the walls were a dingy pale yellow. As I looked over to the right a woman approximately 60 years old was puffing away in her office while she read the paper. To the left was a white haired crusty burly bearded guy sitting in a cubicle smoking. I approached “Crusty” and introduced myself and explained I had an appointment at 11:30 with “Mr. ____”. He showed me into “Mr.’s” office and “Mr.” shook my hand and just stood there for a few minutes awkwardly staring at my chest.

Sigh….Keep in mind my button up shirt was very buttoned up and it wasn’t like my girls were popping out or the buttons were about to bust open. There was no fan blowing my hair in the wind like Beyonce. I was dressed extremely conservative and professional. As I sat down he began asking me about my work experience and telling me about a few positions he had available while making eye contact with me and then drifting his eyes to my crotch. I really wanted to say “What the fuck Dude? Are you a manager or what?” But, I didn’t. I just kept answering his questions or commenting on what he was explaining to me. I just kept thinking to myself “Does he not think I notice him looking at my lady lumps?” This is a manager over two locations and for a LARGE company.

As we got into the meat & potatoes of the interview he begins telling me I’d have a disadvantage in this type of business being a woman. My inner thoughts to myself at this point are Really? Seriously? We’re going there? I explained I’ve been in the equipment business for twenty two years and I’ve had my share of resistance in the biz by men and I can handle it. I explained that I was top salesman one year and I can explain to a customer how to rebuild their mast or give them torque spec’s and even instructions on how to install a timing belt on their equipment, etc.

He seemed impressed with my answers and responses but more impressed with my boobs and crotch. Ewwwwwww. The interview lasted a total of 35 minutes. When we said our goodbyes I bolted to the car and couldn’t wait to get home to shower. I felt dirty from the smoke and from him undressing me with his eyes.

Fuck, I’m not even that hot, was I being Punk’d? Where’s Ashton Kutcher? I hope this isn’t what I should expect on future interviews.Hoping this was just a warm up for me and there will be many more to come with professional management. But Hey! It gave me something to blog about right? Ha!

 

 

 

Monday Eve Essentials

It’s that time again isn’t it Loves? It’s Monday Eve and it’s approaching quickly. So, let’s get this party started shall we? Here’s the essentials you’ll need to keep in mind.

1.) Indispensable: Absolutely Necessary.

2.) Extraordinary: Exceptional in character.

3.) Significant: Remarkable and Important.

Whether you believe you have these qualities or not,  I’m betting someone sees these in you. Do you have a career? If you have a job your supervisor believes in you or you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in right now. I don’t care if you’re a shipping clerk, cashier, truck driver, contractor, engineer, babysitter, or whatever it is you’ve chosen to do for a living.  Whoever hired you saw something in you and is trusting that you will do an outstanding job for them.

If you’re cringing at the thought of tomorrow and another Monday I ask you to reevaluate your attitude. I know, I know, you’re reading this and thinking “Bitch, don’t tell me what do!” I assure you, it’s for your own good and I’m also talking to myself here.

Reason with yourself for a second will you? If you’re dreading tomorrow that causes worry and anxiety. Do you realize you’re in control of those feelings? What makes you happy? Can you think of something right this second that makes you happy in your life? Is it your spouse, child, pet, a new pair of shoes, a trip you have planned? Well, keep your eye on the fucking prize! Pull up your boot straps and dust yourself off and get your shit together. Why do you want to think negative thoughts about tomorrow? Seriously, choose happy. Choose thoughts of “I’m happy I have a job to go to.” Do you know how many people are without jobs right now?

Although you might bitch and moan about your job from time to time, there is someone out there that needs a job and would love to have your position. Count your blessings my loves and take note that your job pays your bills and also helps you to get your prize, am I right? You feel me?

Walk your valuable ass into work tomorrow knowing you bring something to the table. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have that job now would you?

You are all of those three things listed at the top of this blog. Excellence is an attitude. So, think you’re excellent at what you do tomorrow morning and it will seep out of your pores and hopefully jump out and onto a lazy ass co-worker so they’ll wake up and contribute to the team. Be accessible to your employer. Never underestimate yourself. I want you to stop doubting your capabilities and show up for the game tomorrow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it, there’s only one you and only one me and we’re fucking extraordinary.

You and I are so much more.

Now tomorrow morning get up, get that cup of coffee, listen to a kick ass song like the one I’ve posted below. Start Me Up – Rolling Stones – I mean if you don’t get fired up listening to The Stones, get your head examined. Although it’s 34 years later, this song never gets old. Seriously, look at Mick’s moves! I was just ten years old when it came out but I can remember putting Christmas garland around my neck and strutting around the living room trying to imitate his moves. Hmm, maybe I’ll try that next week when I’m putting up the tree. Ha!

Cut the volume up my friends and get your mindset started up!

 

 

 

 

 

Theatrical Pity

There are many things that annoy me but the #1 annoyance is the whole “Pity Me” theatrical.

People that are so self-absorbed and whimper about the slightest little thing provoke my dark sarcastic split personality.

For instance, someone I work with is constantly whining about her neck, step daughter’s doctor’s appointments, the rain, the ugly colored flowers in front of our office, the grass not being green enough?

Another example is of another co-worker that gets in a fowl mood of “feel sorry for me” because I hate my job and then talks “baby talk” all day long. I can barely understand what she’s saying. All I hear coming out of her mouth is “Goo Goo Gah Gah”.

It’s almost as if these people are unstable or something. When I come into work I don’t bring in any drama from my personal life, that is IF I have any. I’m pretty much a drama free chic. I can’t stand that shit obviously.

I just don’t understand why people don’t make a change if they’re so miserable with their circumstances. Either change your attitude or handle your shit. Or better yet be grateful for what is going right in your life. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Why always look at the negative in your life and bitch and moan about it to everyone else?

Pull yourself up and brush that dirt off your shoulders and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not attractive and you’re killin everyone else’s vibes. Don’t be a fucking downer.

Ok, now that I’ve turned into one of these people by blogging about it and being a whiny little bitch, I’ll end my rant.

Now, let’s be fierce and fabulous and get shit done! 🙂

Operation Monday

Monday Eve’s prep……

Last week negativity called me up for a booty call. I wasn’t feelin’ it so I happily told negativity to go fuck itself. Abstinence never felt so good.

I often hear co-workers spewing bitterness about their jobs and how they’re being mistreated by their manager or the company. Sure, there are times where I feel the same way. I don’t discuss it out loud to bring others down. There’s no need in allowing it to affect my work or take it out on any of my co-workers.

I actually call this “The Sickness”. It’s when the negativity plays house in their brains and the words “It’s not fair” come into play.

The Sickness is an infection that needs a remedy stat!

If you’re feeling any symptoms that point in the direction of the The Sickness, get help fast! No need in their germs sweeping through the office like a parasite.

Disinfect yourself before entering the ward tomorrow. Spray on some “Bitch Puh-lease” repellent and handle yourself. Put on your mental mask and shield that bacteria.

Remember, you have choices, do you want to be encouraging or disheartening? You can’t be both darlings, pick carefully.

Monday Maneuvers….

fucking awesome

As you stretch and shuffle downstairs to get that cup of fearlessness remember you’re going to make Monday your Bitch.

You’ve got this! Do no harm but take no shit……put on that bright bold shade of lipstick or that new tie and swag yourself into the office. Be fierce, Fabulous and Bad Ass.

XOXO

Well Behaved…..Yawn, Stretch, Zzzzzz

How many times have we all heard “Oh Behave”? I’m not talking about the funny Austin Powers shit. I’m talking about your parents telling you this at a wedding or your supervisor at work mentioning it to you. Boring……who the hell wants to behave?

As badly as some of us would like to behave to please our parents, co-workers, supervisors it’s just not in our best interest.

Are you unusual? Quirky? A bit bizarre? I know I am to some people and it freaks them out a lot. Sure, I’m a woman. I wear lipstick, jewelry, and smell nice. But, I’m twisted and freakishly insensitive to others around me.

Filter you say? What the fuck is that? Put a muzzle on it? Try it, you’ll get a throat punch quicker than you can say HELP.

Of course I can turn off my bad ass four-letter words at work to some degree. I would never use profanity speaking with a client. But, there has to be some release and that is my vent sessions with co-workers or with friends or better yet here on my blog.

In the south, the majority of society down here still thinks women shouldn’t be so blunt or speak their mind. We should be more ladylike and serve sweet tea with pie. Well, it’s 2015 fuckers and it’s a whole new world out here. Censoring strong opinionated women is absurd.

It feels good to make noise and be a woman. We’ve got balls. Ours are just on our chest. We need to stand out and be heard. We have something to say. Be crazy about yourself and daring. Never let life break you. Be you and rebel as often as you can get away with.

Because behaving is just too fucking tedious.

XOXO

Dig Your Way Out

Evaluate

At times I find myself surrounded by a toxic wasteland of bodies. I’m thinking some of you do too.

We have to evaluate the circumstances. There are family members, co-workers, friends and so on that are a part of our circle.

Cancel the subscription to the unnecessary bullshit. It’s really a burial ground.

Do not allow these destructive people to pull you into circling the drain with them. It’s mind over matter all day, every day.

Take a knife and cut the fucking cord already. Make the change and flip the switch. Come at them with positive responses. Compliment them on something you find significant about them. There’s something good in everyone. Sometimes you have to use a magnifying glass but it’s there.

Resist the wreckage. Clear out the debri. Don’t allow these people to suck the happiness out of your soul. Put light into their dark tunnel.

Digging your way out will be gratifying. You might also be influential to these toxic people. Positivity spreads like a wildfire. Shouldn’t we all bring value to each other?

This game of life can be hard on us…. “A great spirit rises from the ashes.”

Charming On A Monday?

How about we pump ourselves up for Monday shall we?

The week is about to begin and I don’t know about you Loves but something inside of me dreads Monday’s.

I’ve relaxed and had so much fun this weekend. I don’t ever want it to end. But, as we all know…..it’s about the dolla bills ya’ll.

What if we all wake up tomorrow and instantly hit the ground running with the idea we don’t need validation from anyone. We’re wearing our favorite shade of armor of course that’s our lipstick and everybody needs to get out of our way because we’re gonna kill it.

Doesn’t that sound magnificent? Who’s with me? Let us be proud bad ass women tomorrow!

Let us remember that we’re invincible and we’ll make this Monday our Bitch!

Have a great day tomorrow! XOXO