Was I Just Punk’d???

I left an interview today thinking, WTF…..

I applied with a very large equipment company a few weeks ago. After a phone interview and an assessment test I got a face to face interview today.

I studied the company history, product, services, locations, who owns the company, stocks, etc. I wore a  smoky grey pant suit with a button up white crisp shirt, black heels, pearls, everything was in check. I was prepped, confident, schooled, energetic and super pumped.

As I walked into the lobby I smelled smoke and noticed the walls were a dingy pale yellow. As I looked over to the right a woman approximately 60 years old was puffing away in her office while she read the paper. To the left was a white haired crusty burly bearded guy sitting in a cubicle smoking. I approached “Crusty” and introduced myself and explained I had an appointment at 11:30 with “Mr. ____”. He showed me into “Mr.’s” office and “Mr.” shook my hand and just stood there for a few minutes awkwardly staring at my chest.

Sigh….Keep in mind my button up shirt was very buttoned up and it wasn’t like my girls were popping out or the buttons were about to bust open. There was no fan blowing my hair in the wind like Beyonce. I was dressed extremely conservative and professional. As I sat down he began asking me about my work experience and telling me about a few positions he had available while making eye contact with me and then drifting his eyes to my crotch. I really wanted to say “What the fuck Dude? Are you a manager or what?” But, I didn’t. I just kept answering his questions or commenting on what he was explaining to me. I just kept thinking to myself “Does he not think I notice him looking at my lady lumps?” This is a manager over two locations and for a LARGE company.

As we got into the meat & potatoes of the interview he begins telling me I’d have a disadvantage in this type of business being a woman. My inner thoughts to myself at this point are Really? Seriously? We’re going there? I explained I’ve been in the equipment business for twenty two years and I’ve had my share of resistance in the biz by men and I can handle it. I explained that I was top salesman one year and I can explain to a customer how to rebuild their mast or give them torque spec’s and even instructions on how to install a timing belt on their equipment, etc.

He seemed impressed with my answers and responses but more impressed with my boobs and crotch. Ewwwwwww. The interview lasted a total of 35 minutes. When we said our goodbyes I bolted to the car and couldn’t wait to get home to shower. I felt dirty from the smoke and from him undressing me with his eyes.

Fuck, I’m not even that hot, was I being Punk’d? Where’s Ashton Kutcher? I hope this isn’t what I should expect on future interviews.Hoping this was just a warm up for me and there will be many more to come with professional management. But Hey! It gave me something to blog about right? Ha!

 

 

 

Monday Eve Essentials

It’s that time again isn’t it Loves? It’s Monday Eve and it’s approaching quickly. So, let’s get this party started shall we? Here’s the essentials you’ll need to keep in mind.

1.) Indispensable: Absolutely Necessary.

2.) Extraordinary: Exceptional in character.

3.) Significant: Remarkable and Important.

Whether you believe you have these qualities or not,  I’m betting someone sees these in you. Do you have a career? If you have a job your supervisor believes in you or you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in right now. I don’t care if you’re a shipping clerk, cashier, truck driver, contractor, engineer, babysitter, or whatever it is you’ve chosen to do for a living.  Whoever hired you saw something in you and is trusting that you will do an outstanding job for them.

If you’re cringing at the thought of tomorrow and another Monday I ask you to reevaluate your attitude. I know, I know, you’re reading this and thinking “Bitch, don’t tell me what do!” I assure you, it’s for your own good and I’m also talking to myself here.

Reason with yourself for a second will you? If you’re dreading tomorrow that causes worry and anxiety. Do you realize you’re in control of those feelings? What makes you happy? Can you think of something right this second that makes you happy in your life? Is it your spouse, child, pet, a new pair of shoes, a trip you have planned? Well, keep your eye on the fucking prize! Pull up your boot straps and dust yourself off and get your shit together. Why do you want to think negative thoughts about tomorrow? Seriously, choose happy. Choose thoughts of “I’m happy I have a job to go to.” Do you know how many people are without jobs right now?

Although you might bitch and moan about your job from time to time, there is someone out there that needs a job and would love to have your position. Count your blessings my loves and take note that your job pays your bills and also helps you to get your prize, am I right? You feel me?

Walk your valuable ass into work tomorrow knowing you bring something to the table. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have that job now would you?

You are all of those three things listed at the top of this blog. Excellence is an attitude. So, think you’re excellent at what you do tomorrow morning and it will seep out of your pores and hopefully jump out and onto a lazy ass co-worker so they’ll wake up and contribute to the team. Be accessible to your employer. Never underestimate yourself. I want you to stop doubting your capabilities and show up for the game tomorrow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it, there’s only one you and only one me and we’re fucking extraordinary.

You and I are so much more.

Now tomorrow morning get up, get that cup of coffee, listen to a kick ass song like the one I’ve posted below. Start Me Up – Rolling Stones – I mean if you don’t get fired up listening to The Stones, get your head examined. Although it’s 34 years later, this song never gets old. Seriously, look at Mick’s moves! I was just ten years old when it came out but I can remember putting Christmas garland around my neck and strutting around the living room trying to imitate his moves. Hmm, maybe I’ll try that next week when I’m putting up the tree. Ha!

Cut the volume up my friends and get your mindset started up!

 

 

 

 

 

Extraordinary Wednesday

“Don’t be like the rest of them Darling”

Seriously…..make an impression. We’re born to stand out don’t you think?

If you disagree with me then I’m encouraging you to believe in yourself. Understand you are an original. There’s not anyone else like you or me.

Are you on point today? Bring it and own it.

Remember, Bitches get shit done 💋

Theatrical Pity

There are many things that annoy me but the #1 annoyance is the whole “Pity Me” theatrical.

People that are so self-absorbed and whimper about the slightest little thing provoke my dark sarcastic split personality.

For instance, someone I work with is constantly whining about her neck, step daughter’s doctor’s appointments, the rain, the ugly colored flowers in front of our office, the grass not being green enough?

Another example is of another co-worker that gets in a fowl mood of “feel sorry for me” because I hate my job and then talks “baby talk” all day long. I can barely understand what she’s saying. All I hear coming out of her mouth is “Goo Goo Gah Gah”.

It’s almost as if these people are unstable or something. When I come into work I don’t bring in any drama from my personal life, that is IF I have any. I’m pretty much a drama free chic. I can’t stand that shit obviously.

I just don’t understand why people don’t make a change if they’re so miserable with their circumstances. Either change your attitude or handle your shit. Or better yet be grateful for what is going right in your life. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Why always look at the negative in your life and bitch and moan about it to everyone else?

Pull yourself up and brush that dirt off your shoulders and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not attractive and you’re killin everyone else’s vibes. Don’t be a fucking downer.

Ok, now that I’ve turned into one of these people by blogging about it and being a whiny little bitch, I’ll end my rant.

Now, let’s be fierce and fabulous and get shit done! 🙂

Operation Monday

Monday Eve’s prep……

Last week negativity called me up for a booty call. I wasn’t feelin’ it so I happily told negativity to go fuck itself. Abstinence never felt so good.

I often hear co-workers spewing bitterness about their jobs and how they’re being mistreated by their manager or the company. Sure, there are times where I feel the same way. I don’t discuss it out loud to bring others down. There’s no need in allowing it to affect my work or take it out on any of my co-workers.

I actually call this “The Sickness”. It’s when the negativity plays house in their brains and the words “It’s not fair” come into play.

The Sickness is an infection that needs a remedy stat!

If you’re feeling any symptoms that point in the direction of the The Sickness, get help fast! No need in their germs sweeping through the office like a parasite.

Disinfect yourself before entering the ward tomorrow. Spray on some “Bitch Puh-lease” repellent and handle yourself. Put on your mental mask and shield that bacteria.

Remember, you have choices, do you want to be encouraging or disheartening? You can’t be both darlings, pick carefully.

Don’t Kill My Vibe

Morning Checklist….

Positive Panties On – Check!

Coffee Cup In Hand – Check!

Lipstick – Check!

Got Swag? – Check!

Feeling Positive – Abso-Fucking-Lutely!

Negativity? – We have a runner!

You’re not here to be average, you’re here to be awesome! Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. It’s time to evict that negative resident out of your mind and have a new lease drawn up for a paying occupant named positivity. You hear that beeping? That’s the moving truck backing in….Negativity pack your shit and get the fuck out. Mind over matter all day, everyday.

Monday Maneuvers….

fucking awesome

As you stretch and shuffle downstairs to get that cup of fearlessness remember you’re going to make Monday your Bitch.

You’ve got this! Do no harm but take no shit……put on that bright bold shade of lipstick or that new tie and swag yourself into the office. Be fierce, Fabulous and Bad Ass.

XOXO

Monday Under Construction

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I’m pretty sure everyone is unfavorable of Monday’s. You’ve known all along it was coming and here it is….Monday Eve prep.

When I say prep, I mean, I have to start with my head and pump myself up for the shenanigans that are forthcoming tomorrow. I think it’s ironic that tonight is the premier for the new season of The Walking Dead. No doubt tomorrow morning I’ll walk into the office and I’ll see “walkers” among me.

The “Walkers” that I speak of are the kind that are inattentive, lethargic and procrastinating. Sure, we’re all like this from time to time. The struggle is real on a Monday morning isn’t it?

Well, I believe if we have the mindset that we’re thankful for another day and these jobs that we’re going to, it will set the tone for all of us.

Whether we’re dreading going into work or not, if we start with our heads I think it will make a difference in the way we perceive our Monday.

Remember you are powerful in your thoughts. You control your happiness and your attitude. Honestly, I think it takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive.

Be enthusiastic about a fresh start to the work week. Reinvent yourself possibly? Switch things up a bit. Instead of wearing the same lip gloss how about change it up and put on a bold shade? Fellas, try the blonde roast at Starbucks instead of the usual White Chocolate Mocha. Wear a different tie that has been hidden in the back of the closet for a special occasion. Treat yo self to something special in the morning to start the day off with a little offering to yourself. Or better yet, pay for the car behind you in the drive thru.

Random acts of kindness benefit you and the benefactor. It can change your entire day.

Make your Monday constructive and purposeful. Who wants a Mundane Monday anyways? Make it count.

Come At Me Bruh – See What Happens

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I know I’m usually a positive kinda girl and post motivational things. Today really isn’t one of those days.

Yesterday life gave me a booty call and I’m still sore today. Yep, I got fucked over yesterday by a couple of douches at work.

Don’t you love it when you have this amazing idea and someone steels it? I despise thieves.

Now to get my revenge. I know, I shouldn’t probably think like that but come on, do you know me? Do you REALLY know me? I can be a bit avenging to say the least. Don’t fuck with me or my people.

I spoke up in the meeting and called them out on it but then I winded up looking like a babbling psycho. I was so outraged. You see, when I get enraged I break out in hives and veins are popping out of my neck. I can’t hide my feelings. So, on top of not having a filter for my mouth, my issues are written all over my face, neck, chest, etc.

Well, these blood sucking conniving co-workers just handed me the scissors. No more assistance from me on their presentations, sales reports, and sales leads. I constantly throw these mother fuckers a bone to help them out. I am by far a team player and often help others out with their responsibilities because I’m that fucking efficient. Bitches get shit done son! I am constantly asking if anyone else needs assistance.

That shit just came to an immediate halt. How much do you want to bet when I’m distant, cold, and put them on ignore with my rested bitch face they’re going to ask “What’s wrong?” “Are you OK?” Doesn’t that always seem to happen?

Watch out sales dicks I’m coming for ya today! No worries loves, I’ll walk in with all black, my red lipstick, and hold my head up high, can’t let the crown slip can I?

Let my scheming and vengeance begin!

XOXO