Simon’s Takeover Part II – Explore Yourself

Hi Loves! Today is my “Friday” if you will…..the last working day before the holiday begins. That means tomorrow Lennon will be out scrambling around with the rest of the last minute shoppers grabbing whatever she can find to wrap or throw in a gift bag. I hate shopping this time of year but I’m lame and have been avoiding it for too long. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me this year for some odd reason. Can’t understand why really but it just seems like it crept in and whispered “Hey Bitch, you have four days to get your shit together, clock starts now, run bitch, run!!!!” Ok, now onto Simon’s Takeover. Last week he had a very unique story which got quite the attention. Today, he brings up some things that I really relate to. It’s way all too familiar. I think some of you will agree. Please check out Simon’s blog as he is exceptional. Not only is a fantastic writer but an incredible friend. Planet Simon

Explore Yourself:
The title of this sounds a bit dodgy. Like the kind of body search one might carry out when you think you’ve got a disease but what I have to say isn’t as weird but maybe more exciting.
Lennon and I have been friends for ages and we’ve started taking over each others blogs from time to time because we’re good like that.
What I thought this second post should be, is to reach down deep and explore all of us. If you know me….then you know I’m into space and exploration far away but perhaps the bigger adventure is much closer. Let’s see if this resonates:
Get up.
Get breakfast, coffee etc.
Go to work.
Get lunch.
Keep working.
Go home.
Sit on our ass and watch TV.
Go to bed.
Repeat.
With the occasional gems of getting laid and getting paid, a short holiday…. that’s more or less IT. Stop if I’m wrong.
Thing is, surely there’s more to life than this. Working for a corrupt system that takes from those that work.
How do you break the cycle?
Well the secret is….I dunno. I don’t. I wish I fucking did because I spend ages thinking about this and it’s a hard one. Trying to get that grip to get going and exist by and for yourself.
I need to explore my inner self and find out what makes me tick. What is it I need to do in the time I have left. Because it’s not paying bills and shit. I’m sure I’m not the only one, I’m sure others of you need to explore that bit of you that’s going to unlock life so that we learn to live life before we kick the bucket.
If anyone has any ideas… Let me know!
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Catching Up

Hey Loves,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about what’s going on in my little world so thought it was overdue. Not that any of you are that interested in my daily situations but this is my journal of sorts as well so it’s good to write out your feelings right?

Let’s see….we went to a Billy Joel concert last weekend and he was incredible. He played all of his hits like Uptown Girl, Allentown, She’s Got A Way, Just The Way You Are, Movin’ Out, My Life, Pressure, It’s Still Rockin’ Roll To Me, Piano Man, NY State Of Mind and so much more. Because he was playing at the Braves Stadium here in Atlanta he also played a few songs by Georgia artists like “I Feel Good” by James Brown, Midnight Train To Georgia by Gladys & The Pips”. He brought out one of his roadies and the roadie sang Highway To Hell by ACDC while Billy Joel played guitar. It was fantastic. A young lady sitting next to me had a lot to drink so she puked all over the person in front of her and some of it landed on my feet as well. Ick. I didn’t let it ruin my fun though, I kept dancing and singing along. Of course after I cleaned off my shoes. Ha.

I finally made an appointment with a shrink about my anger issues at work and how I am out of control with my RMS. (Restless Mouth Syndrome) – For those of you that aren’t familiar with my made up diagnosis that’s when you get so angry that shit flies out of your mouth. That’s one of my symptoms, the others are my heart racing and feeling it’s about to jump out of my chest, breaking out in hives, turning very red when I’m angry and breathing rapidly and ready to throat punch someone.

When I went into the appointment he asked the basic questions why am I there and I explained and gave examples of situations where I had lost control (no, I didn’t hit anyone) but I did ask a guy if his balls were the size of a tic tack and that he needed to grow some. Then he asked if I was suicidal or homicidal and I said no, not at all. He then told me that I should go home and watch some youtube videos of how Obama handled confrontation in press conferences and such. He also recommended a book as well. I asked how is that going to help with my heart pounding so fast and my hives etc? He said I would work that out if I watch Obama and read the book.

Needless to say, that was a waste of time. Sure, I voted for Obama and I think he speaks very well other than the Um’s he would consistently say in between his speeches but he is a class act and knew how to handle himself. But, I need a happy pill or a calming pill. I truly think I have anxiety and need something. I do for the most part TRY very hard to remain calm and to hold things in but as they say the struggle is very real.

Friday afternoon, I had an appointment with my primary care doctor to see if he could prescribe something or advise me on what to do. Before I left for the Dr. appointment there was an incident at work where the owner screamed at another manager in front of several people. He yelled “You need to learn how to fucking communicate. Send someone now and learn to do your fucking job!” There are five of us in an open room with desks and there were a few others in there at the counters and I was actually on the phone with a client while this was going on. The owner stormed out of the room papers flying everywhere as he waved his arms like a fucking bird mumbling under his breath. It took everything in me not to follow him and confront him but I need my job desperately as I have bills to pay. How dare him speak to anyone like that? No one deserves to be spoken to in that manner and in front of her staff. She ran outside humiliated crying. I went after her and told her to just take a deep breath and that he was wrong to treat her that way.

By the time I got to my Dr.’s appointment I was red with hives and my heart was racing. My BP was higher than it’s ever been. I’ve never had high BP ever. The Dr. prescribed a generic version of cymbalta which is called duloxetine. Let’s hope it helps. I took it yesterday morning and this morning. Side effects so far are cold all the time, loss of appetite, extremely tired. That’s about it. I can handle those, not bad at all. Let’s just hope I don’t lose it on Monday when the owner acts like nothing ever happened and tries to act like we’re all friends again.

I hope all of you have a fantastic Sunday and thanks for stopping by. 🙂

 

 

 

Caught Up

Is that a thing? For Real? I can’t remember the last fucking time I was caught up. I swear, if one more person asks me “Are you caught up yet?” at work I’m going to throat punch them. Yes, I have a guy that started a few months ago that is like an assistant but business is really booming right now. We’re on fire I tell ya. That’s a fantastic thing. I’m not necessarily complaining but I so miss reading all of your blogs and writing my own shit. I know I post my usual funny stuff on Mondays and Wednesdays but come on, I’d love just one day of no work, plans, or anything going on so I could just dive into some deep writing. I feel like I don’t feel anymore. I don’t have time to feel my emotions or whatever you call it. I’m not in tune with my inner self. I need this release like really bad. No, not sex people, get your mind out of the gutter. I get a lot of that thank you very much but I need my writing back. I need to balance some time for it no doubt.

Maybe this is a start right? At least I’m logging my thoughts here in this post. I will say I have a few close bloggers that I converse with via e-mail and that’s helpful. I’m so thankful for all of you out there that stop by and like and comment my stuff. I really really appreciate it. It’s wonderful to know you’re still hanging on to this blog for some odd reason. I hope to stop by your blogs soon, very soon. I’ve just got to work on some personal space here to have the time to do it.

For now I’ll leave you with Four Five Seconds because this pretty much sums up my frustration with work and no me time. Thank God tomorrow is Friday is all I’m gonna say.

 

Theatrical Pity

There are many things that annoy me but the #1 annoyance is the whole “Pity Me” theatrical.

People that are so self-absorbed and whimper about the slightest little thing provoke my dark sarcastic split personality.

For instance, someone I work with is constantly whining about her neck, step daughter’s doctor’s appointments, the rain, the ugly colored flowers in front of our office, the grass not being green enough?

Another example is of another co-worker that gets in a fowl mood of “feel sorry for me” because I hate my job and then talks “baby talk” all day long. I can barely understand what she’s saying. All I hear coming out of her mouth is “Goo Goo Gah Gah”.

It’s almost as if these people are unstable or something. When I come into work I don’t bring in any drama from my personal life, that is IF I have any. I’m pretty much a drama free chic. I can’t stand that shit obviously.

I just don’t understand why people don’t make a change if they’re so miserable with their circumstances. Either change your attitude or handle your shit. Or better yet be grateful for what is going right in your life. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Why always look at the negative in your life and bitch and moan about it to everyone else?

Pull yourself up and brush that dirt off your shoulders and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not attractive and you’re killin everyone else’s vibes. Don’t be a fucking downer.

Ok, now that I’ve turned into one of these people by blogging about it and being a whiny little bitch, I’ll end my rant.

Now, let’s be fierce and fabulous and get shit done! 🙂

Dance I Said!

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Have you ever danced and not wanted to? Is that even a possibility? Who really doesn’t like to dance? If you don’t, maybe you’ve not had the right music that makes you want to bust your move.

Lately, well, every day, I’ve been dancing my ass off in the car on the way home.

No, I don’t drive 80 or 90 and dance…..I mostly dance when I’m at a red light. Sure, I could go work out at the gym but it feels exhilarating to be in the confines of my car with MY music and furiously dancing.

I know exactly what you’re thinking….. Watching me dance in my car would be captivating wouldn’t it? Ahem….Um, NO!

I’m either listening to Marilyn Manson, Luda, Ty Dolla $ign, for fuck’s sake I even listen to Taylor Swift. Singing and dancing is my freedom. Music is air to me. Breathing it in and exhaling it out as I take in the words, beat, melody.

When I was just a toddler my Mom said that I would throw hella fits and temper tantrums but as soon as she would put on some Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Cher, etc. I’d melt into a puddle of cuteness and the demons would be released from my soul. It was comparable to an exorcism.

Music and dancing speak to me. I can be in the worst mood EVER and turn the radio on and I instantly forget what I’m so stressed about. It takes me on a trip away from the hustle and bustle of my life.

So, if you’re having a shitty day, someone has done you wrong, work has stressed you beyond your limitation….Crank up that song and let your self go! Music can change everything.

Stay tuned for a list of my feel good favorites. I hope to post it tonight or tomorrow. I keep them close at hand on my phone of course to flip my switch. It’s a benefit for the stupid people I want to hurt on a daily basis.

Happy Friday Eve Loves! XOXO

Twisted Little Jingle You Might Fancy

Morning Loves….

This is one of my favorites. When you’re having one of those insignificant shitty days and nothing seems to be going right, this song always puts a smile on my face.

It’s especially beneficial if someone has royally pissed you off. Fuck You never sounded more beautiful before hearing Lilly Allen sing it. What a fucking fabulous song! You can just wonder the halls at work humming along to it with your beautiful smirk at life.

Guarantee you’ll get a kick out of it – Enjoy!