My Single Days Part IV

Have you ever had that one person that just wouldn’t let you go? That creepy ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend that wouldn’t take NO for an answer?

It was the summer of 2000 and I was at the bar with my girls having drinks, dancing, laughing and just having a fantastic night. As I was on the dance floor dancing to “Music” by Madonna with a guy friend out of nowhere this guy with dark hair and brown eyes moves in between us and has moves like I’d never seen before. My guy friend was standing by watching and waiting on me to give him the signal to move back in or for me to wave him off to let him know I was good. I was good, I liked this guys moves. I gave the wave and my friend moved onto some other chic on the floor and started dancing.

After the song was over we went back to my table and had a great conversation. His name was Brent. He was funny, charming, outgoing, flirty, and really handsome. By the end of the night he talked me into giving him my digits. I left with my friends and the very next day he called me up and we went out on our first date that evening. He was a cop come to find out. Hmmm, power, authority, handsome, funny as the day is long, this guy is amazing.

We dated for about a month. Not once did I ever think he was “The One” but he was so much fun to be around. We went out every weekend dancing and having a blast with my friends and probably had dinner a couple of times a week together. Soon he was calling twice a day, then it was six times a day and then it was all hours of the night. I kept telling him I didn’t need a clinger. He said he would give me some space. That night he showed up at my house around 2 am and I didn’t go to the door or answer the phone. Because I didn’t answer he turned on his blue lights and used his intercom on his car “Lennon, I know you’re in there, come out now. Don’t make me break in.” My roommate came running downstairs to my apartment and said “What the fuck, should I call the cops?” I said “He is a fucking cop, I don’t know what to do but I don’t want to talk to him right now.”

I finally had to go out and tell him to leave and that I had to go to work the next day and was over his shit. I told him that I didn’t want to ever see him again and to leave me the fuck alone. I was tired of his possessive bullshit and him pretty much stalking me. He said “You don’t mean that. You love me and we’re meant to be together. I’m going to marry you one day. Get some rest and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He was in denial and ignored everything I had just said. I then threatened him by saying “I’ll call your supervisor Brent. I don’t want to do that to you as I know you love your job but I cannot continue to go through this with you.” He put both of his hands on my face and said “Oh Sweetie, you wouldn’t do that, it would be your word against mine. I am the law. They won’t believe you over me. You’re mine.” I got chills up my spine when he said that. I backed away from him and told him to leave and repeated myself again that I had to get up early for work.

The next day he was waiting outside in his patrol car after I got off from work smiling with flowers acting like nothing had happened the night before. I remember telling him again, it was over and I didn’t want to see him again and to leave me the fuck alone. I hurriedly jumped in my car and drove off. He followed me all the way home with his lights and siren on like he was chasing a fugitive.

Friends of mine loved him. Anytime we were out with them he was the funny guy with jokes and pranks and just the light of the party. My friends all knew he was a stalker or a bit crazy but they thought it was cute and just part of his funny personality. This time I was humiliated driving home with him in pursuit behind me and afraid he would hurt me. As soon as I pulled into my driveway I had my cell phone in my hand as I got out of the car and told him I was dialing 911 and that I didn’t give a fuck if they believed me or not but I was calling it in.

He left quickly when I acted like I was dialing. I honestly didn’t want him to lose his job. He was 27 years old and his entire life he wanted to be a cop. He was prideful about his “protect and serve” motto. Maybe I should’ve called 911 but I didn’t that day. I had met his parents and I knew it would humiliate them.

I’ve not seen him ever again accept when he requested to be my friend on FB a couple of years ago. Denied. Blocked. And that’s why I’m not on FB anymore. Fucking creeper ex-boyfriends.

Anyway, Ladies and Gent’s be very careful out there with the single’s. They can be quite charming but then flip on a dime and show their side of cray. And if you’re one of the Cray’s, pull yourself together and get some fucking help.

My girlfriends and I went to the beach the weekend after that break upย  to have some girl time and this song was our jam…. We sang this drinking pina colada’s with our toes in the sand. I needed an escape ๐Ÿ™‚

 

My Single Days Part III

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I must say, I’m so fortunate to have been single back in the days when Sex In The City was the latest craze. I really wish there was another show like it right now for the singles in this day and age. There probably is but I’ve not discovered it.

I can remember having this Carrie Bradshaw look at one time during my single days. Of course, I didn’t have that fabulous jawline or that incredible collarbone but I definitely had the Carrie personality of my crew.

We certainly had our share of Samantha’s and Charlotte’s and one Miranda. After my divorce in 1999 I was living in Tennessee with no family there. I had a great career but was single and alone. Thankfully I met my girlfriends and they literally got me through a very hard time in my life. They made being single fun and not the end of my world like I thought it would be. I was definitely in a rut and very down on myself. I felt like such a failure since I couldn’t make my marriage work. I felt broken, ashamed, and rejected.

These girlfriends took me under their wing and showed me a friendship, bond, love like I’d never experienced. We would watch SITC, movies, cook, drink, shop, just sit up talking, go out dancing, weekend trips, laughter, tons of laughter. We made fun of each other and cheered each other on. We were each others accessories.

I can remember one time one of my girlfriends (A Samantha) had one of those above ground donut blow up type of pools in her backyard. She decided to have all of us over for a pool party and had fruity cocktails with little umbrellas and we had on the cutest hats and bikinis….A few of us had already had too much to drink on our floats and singing at the top our our lungs to “Let Me Blow Ya Mind” by Eve & Gwen Stefani when one of my friends grabbed the side of the pool to catch herself from falling off of her float and the pool started collapsing and we all went sliding down the hill inย  her backyard as the water escaped like a hurricane. It was fucking hilarious. Tops fell off, floats were snagged on trees, cups went flying, it was a hot mess for sure. We all laughed so hard we were crying. What a fantastic memory.

I miss them so much. I moved to Atlanta about eleven years ago and they’re all still in TN. We see each other about once a year.

I don’t miss those single days but I sure miss my time with them. It almost feels like they helped raise me? They helped me to grow and become ME. They helped me to fall in love with myself so that I could be set free to find love again.

Eventually I had to let go of who I used to be and embrace the new and improved me. They were part of that process of building me up and now I’ve arrived to the best me ever.

Girlfriends are so important whether you’re single or married….Keep in touch. Take the time out to go shopping with them or to plan a trip where you get a few days together to catch up. There’s nothing better than that quality girlfriend time.

Make the call to one of them and set up a lunch date or grab a coffee. You ALL deserve it!

I’ll leave you with this fantastic beat. Now every single time I hear it, it takes me back to that pool spilling us out into the backyard ๐Ÿ™‚

My Single Days Part II

Twenty eight years old, it was 9:00ย  on a Friday night. I was in bed with fleece pajamas, my blonde hair in long braided pigtails, eating ice cream with my dog watching the first season of Sex In The City on DVD. My phone rings…..”Hello?” My friend Jenny is on the other line “Why are you at home? I told you to meet us here at the bar at 9:00!!!” Me: “Whatever Jenny, I don’t feel like getting dressed up and shit and hanging out at a bar. I’m watching SITC and eating ice cream and in bed, come over and watch it with me.” Jenny: “Are you insane, you need a life, get up here, I need a DD anyways and you promised.” Me: “Alright, Fine! I’m only coming up there because you’re drinking and need a driver.”

I cut off the TV , throw on my jeans, shoes, flannel shirt and my baseball cap over my long braids and noticed I had no make up on. So I did manage to put a little blush on my cheeks and some lip gloss. Off I went to the bar about 10 minutes from my place.

I park and get to the door and the “gate keeper” asks to see my ID. Maybe tonight won’t be too bad seeing as I just got carded and I’m 28. I go straight to the far right corner where my crew always hangs out and immediately I smile. There are my five girls looking fabulous. They were the best looking chic’s in there for sure. Two brunette’s, two blondes and one red head. They were all in their high heels, skirts, dresses, lip gloss, glitter bronzer on their chests and cheeks and drinking their cosmo’s when I approached.

As I get closer the smiles slowly fade away and they look like they smell something foul. I’m looking behind me to see what they’re looking at that must look so scary and I see nothing. I sit down and Jenny says “What the fuck Lennon? Why are you dressed like a truck driver? Jesus, you have all of those amazing clothes and you choose to wear this?”

Yeah, I’m that girl that has always had the I don’t care attitude. As I laugh at Jenny’s comment and snap back “You’re the one who begged me to come out, so here I am. Too bad you don’t find me attractive because $20 says I walk away with more digits than any of you tonight.” So, that night at the club although I dressed like a truck driver, I put my dancing skills to the test and laid my charming as fuck personality on as thick as I could and of course I walked away with an extra $20 and a few digits that I’d never call. That’s not the only thing I walked away with…..

The girls all piled into my SUV along with some dude that Jenny had been making out with in the corner of the bar. The ride home turned out to be pretty disgusting as Jenny winded up puking in my car and the dude she had snagged wanted to get out immediately. We left him on a curb somewhere downtown and I got Jenny and the rest of the girls home safe and sound. Memories, fun memories with my girls. How I miss them. But, I don’t miss their drunk puking asses in my car, I can tell you that. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

 

 

 

My Single Days – Part I

Just the other day my Bestie texted me “Look at this shit….it’s a text from this guy I used to date which was a narcissistic asshole.” His text just stated “Is this still your #?” She asks me “How should I respond? I want him to think it’s someone else so he’ll stop texting me forever.” Challenge accepted! My options for her were Option 1.) “Who Dat?” Option 2.) “Thank God you texted me, I tested positive! Where the fuck have you been?”ย  Option 3.) Send him a picture of a bearded dude with lip gloss and a duck face saying Heeeyyyy! She laughed her ass off and you know something, she decided to just ignore the text and give him dead air. She said she wanted to keep his feelings in check and didn’t want to hurt him. Classy, tasteful, and nice, unlike myself. Ha!

I also read The V-Pub’s blog https://weight2lose2013.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/awkward-moments-pt-deux/ which was his post about dating and awkwardness. Let me just say, if you’re not following Rob, shame on you, he’s fucking great!

After reading Rob’s blog and my friends text I thought why not blog about some of my past dating scene/single days. I think I’ll break it down into different segments for when the mood strikes as I have a few.

Part I – I was twenty eight years old and met a Professor at a college game and he asked me out. He was about 12 years older than me but there was something about his glasses, bow tie, beard, and suspenders that were kind of cute to me. He had salt and pepper hair and was tall and average built. He wanted to pick me up at my place but I decided to just have him meet me at work. There was a local restaurant within walking distance from my office. We grabbed a table, drinks and ordered dinner. The conversation was slow starting. He talked about his Mom, work, ex-wife, and the mountains. Yawn…boring. Besides, who talks about their ex on a first date anyways. As our dinner arrived and I had my first couple of bites he began sticking his fork in my food and eating off of my plate as well as his. I asked him “What do you think, it’s good right?” He said “Hmm Humm, very good” and kept stabbing at my plate and shoving it in his mouth. I finally just sat my fork down and watched him eat my dinner along with his. He kept telling me about his students, meetings and what hurdles he had at work never asking about me or my life.

As HE finished dinner and he paid the bill we started back to my office and as we got to my car I said “This is me” with my keys in hand. He leans into me and pins me up against the car and starts trying to kiss me. When I say “Try” I mean he was basically licking my face. Yuck. I put both hands on his chest and pushed him away and he looked shocked. He said “What’s wrong?” I said, “First of all you don’t just pounce on me like that, maybe you got the wrong signal or something but why are you licking my face?” He said “I wasn’t licking your face, I was kissing you.” Me: “Um, no you weren’t and you ate every damn thing on my plate and now I’m fucking starving to death so get the fuck out of my way so I can get out of here so I can find something to eat.” He’s walking away or marching away at this moment and says “I was buying the dinner so I can eat whatever the fuck I want.” I got in my car and as I drove by him I honked and rolled down my window and flicked him off yelling “Fuck you professor!!!”

Luckily I never heard from him again or ever ran into him again. I’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual. But, on a side note, don’t eat the other person’s meal on the first date or like EVER. I like to eat, I will share a bite or two but not my whole damn meal for Christ Sake. Also, each of you should contribute to the conversation. On the kissing thing, know the signs or if she’s looking at you “that way” etc. This was not happening on my date at all. No reason for him to pounce like he did. It might have went differently if he wouldn’t have eaten my meal and would’ve gotten to know me and we had a connection. But nope, he was connected to himself way more than connected to me. I’m sure he’s jacking off somewhere in a sock and looking at porn. ๐Ÿ™‚