Monday’s Stance

Have you ever heard the phrase “you wear your emotions on your sleeve”? I’ve noticed at my office a lot of the women seem to be wearing emotions like the latest Michael Kors handbags.

Just recently a female co-worker was hurt that I didn’t make eye contact with her when she was speaking to me. In my defense I was concentrating on schematics and working on a quote while she was telling me about her menstrual cycle and personal drama. I was listening and nodding politely while looking up part numbers. Later that day I read her Facebook rant about how people should be considerate and look at someone when they’re having a conversation. Maybe she wasn’t referring to me you’re thinking? Um, yeah, she was. The next day I mentioned how I saw her facebook status and how if she was referring to me I wanted to apologize. Instead of her saying “It’s alright, I knew you were busy and that status wasn’t about you.” She proceeded to get an attitude about how rude she thought I was and how it hurt her feelings and then as though that wasn’t bad enough, she started crying while giving me a piece of her mind. Sigh… I quickly hugged her and told her my intentions were not to hurt her and that sometimes I’m in a zone which is called work. She didn’t like that answer either.

I’m not one to be emotional at work but I work with six other women that are. So far I’ve made three out of six cry. Not on purpose of course. It’s difficult for me as I don’t understand it. I’m not an emotional person unless it has to do with veterans, death, children or puppies. It takes a lot for me to cry or to get emotional. For the most part I keep my emotions in check. I do pop off wise cracks and am sarcastic at times but for some reason I get away with that at work.

No matter the situation, never let your emotions fuck with your intelligence. Emotions in the office or with your career make you helpless and weak. Hold your shit together as you’re better than that bullshit. You came to work to succeed and to get paid. You’re not there to get wrapped up in drama or to let something bring you down. Keep your chin up and move forward.

Smell that? That’s fresh ambition brewing….

We all have ambition inside of us that’s eager to be released so that we can achieve our goals. Sure, sometimes it’s taking a nap or on hiatus but for the most part it’s there.

Tomorrow we need to wake up determined to rise. Rise above the negativity and shit from other co-workers. You know you bring something to the table each and every day. Pull up a chair and serve up that ambition with a side of success.

Let’s bury the haters with our swag and make Monday our bitch. It’s full throttle all day long. From our standpoint everything is conceivable. You dominate your mindset and you are the one that is in control of your perspective.

Kick the excess waste of negativity to the curb. Firm up your stance and stay on course with a hustler’s mentality.

My motto for tomorrow is “All I Do Is Win” – one of my favorite rap songs. Remember, we’re winners, now let’s show up for the game tomorrow.

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Monday Eve Essentials

It’s that time again isn’t it Loves? It’s Monday Eve and it’s approaching quickly. So, let’s get this party started shall we? Here’s the essentials you’ll need to keep in mind.

1.) Indispensable: Absolutely Necessary.

2.) Extraordinary: Exceptional in character.

3.) Significant: Remarkable and Important.

Whether you believe you have these qualities or not,  I’m betting someone sees these in you. Do you have a career? If you have a job your supervisor believes in you or you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in right now. I don’t care if you’re a shipping clerk, cashier, truck driver, contractor, engineer, babysitter, or whatever it is you’ve chosen to do for a living.  Whoever hired you saw something in you and is trusting that you will do an outstanding job for them.

If you’re cringing at the thought of tomorrow and another Monday I ask you to reevaluate your attitude. I know, I know, you’re reading this and thinking “Bitch, don’t tell me what do!” I assure you, it’s for your own good and I’m also talking to myself here.

Reason with yourself for a second will you? If you’re dreading tomorrow that causes worry and anxiety. Do you realize you’re in control of those feelings? What makes you happy? Can you think of something right this second that makes you happy in your life? Is it your spouse, child, pet, a new pair of shoes, a trip you have planned? Well, keep your eye on the fucking prize! Pull up your boot straps and dust yourself off and get your shit together. Why do you want to think negative thoughts about tomorrow? Seriously, choose happy. Choose thoughts of “I’m happy I have a job to go to.” Do you know how many people are without jobs right now?

Although you might bitch and moan about your job from time to time, there is someone out there that needs a job and would love to have your position. Count your blessings my loves and take note that your job pays your bills and also helps you to get your prize, am I right? You feel me?

Walk your valuable ass into work tomorrow knowing you bring something to the table. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have that job now would you?

You are all of those three things listed at the top of this blog. Excellence is an attitude. So, think you’re excellent at what you do tomorrow morning and it will seep out of your pores and hopefully jump out and onto a lazy ass co-worker so they’ll wake up and contribute to the team. Be accessible to your employer. Never underestimate yourself. I want you to stop doubting your capabilities and show up for the game tomorrow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it, there’s only one you and only one me and we’re fucking extraordinary.

You and I are so much more.

Now tomorrow morning get up, get that cup of coffee, listen to a kick ass song like the one I’ve posted below. Start Me Up – Rolling Stones – I mean if you don’t get fired up listening to The Stones, get your head examined. Although it’s 34 years later, this song never gets old. Seriously, look at Mick’s moves! I was just ten years old when it came out but I can remember putting Christmas garland around my neck and strutting around the living room trying to imitate his moves. Hmm, maybe I’ll try that next week when I’m putting up the tree. Ha!

Cut the volume up my friends and get your mindset started up!

 

 

 

 

 

Ahem…Judgement

Seriously, why do others feel the need to judge someone?

First of all, Love is the absence of criticism and judgement. No one has any idea what you have been through.

Why can’t everyone assume that each of us are doing the best we can through life?

Why can’t people accept differences?

I think we should all be encouraging and uplifting. I try to make everyone around me to feel comfortable with being exactly who they are.

I embrace individuality and everything different than myself. Again, we could learn from someone that is the opposite of you and I.

In most cases the people that are judging you or talking behind your back don’t even have their shit together. They forget what they’ve even told you about their own lives.

Support each other instead of tearing each other down. Listen to situations and and try to be there for each other without passing judgement. Sometimes people just need to be heard. We all have a heart. Let’s use our heart instead of our mouth.

Closed minds often have their mouths wide open don’t they?

Let’s stop picking out the faults in others. No one needs validation to be who they want to be. We are valued and love has no limitations.

Everyone matters and is deserving. In my eyes, everyone is beautiful and has a heart. Think with your heart and especially if someone is different than you. If we just knew people just like us how boring and dull would life really be?

An open mind is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

Judge me by my past and I’ll put you in the past. Just sayin’…..

Judgment & Acceptance

Opinions

Why would you allow what people think of you to achieve power over your thoughts?

Is their judgment more meaningful than what you think of yourself?

Do not be a victim to their advice unless you ask for it. Some people do have your best interest at heart and have excellent opinions to give. You should know the difference.

Be confident in your thoughts and decisions. You do not require validation from anyone but yourself. You are always in control. If you’re not, get a handle on it.

Confidence should be a silent inner strength but insecurities stand out with a sign. People feed on those insecurities. Never apologize for being you and real.

In life we will be criticized, judged, and shamed but, remember their opinions are not facts. They’re not in your shoes and have no clue of what storms you’ve been through or are fighting right now. Do not allow your inner voice to drown.

Love your decisions and learn from the mistakes. We’re all awkward and imperfect in different areas and that’s what makes us original.

You’re good enough, worthy, and magnificent. Now, go out and prove it!

Extraordinary Wednesday

“Don’t be like the rest of them Darling”

Seriously…..make an impression. We’re born to stand out don’t you think?

If you disagree with me then I’m encouraging you to believe in yourself. Understand you are an original. There’s not anyone else like you or me.

Are you on point today? Bring it and own it.

Remember, Bitches get shit done 💋

Makin’ Or Breakin’ Me

Do you ever have a moment where you feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be?

I’m not talking about that client meeting or that doctor’s appointment. I’m referencing that jolt in your brain and heart where you feel banded, packaged, and ready for shipment.

You see, my upbringing was decent but lacking in many factors. Sure, I had parents that loved me and tried very hard to be suitable.

But, there were a few misfires……

My Mom constantly met multiple men that were “The One” and would disappear for a few weeks and leave myself and younger brother to fend for ourselves. I think the first time I was ten years old and my brother seven. Way too damn young to be left alone for days or weeks. My Mom and Dad were divorced and he had a lot of important things going on in his life like work, guns, and women.

They carried medical and dental insurance on themselves but dropped mine when I turned fifteen. I had a part time job so that meant I could pay for my lunches at school, dental cleaning, doctor’s appointments, etc. in their eyes.

My Dad tried to break me a few times. What I mean by that is compare me to my Mom and tell me things like “You’re just like your Mom, a whore, you’re never going to make it or be anything more.” The next day he would tell me he loved me and how proud he was of me. I swear to this day he had split personalities or something. Those words…..you never forget them.

I read a quote today, “Throw me to the wolves and I’ll come back leading the pack.” When I read this I had that moment of clarity. Sometimes we go through some heartbreaking junctures in life. Because of the misfires in my life it didn’t break me. It made me. I’m a natural born hustler. People tend to follow my direction. When I say hustler I mean “Bitches get shit done.” My work ethic is solid and whatever goals I set for myself, I make it happen. I’m in control of my dreams, aspirations, and anything I fucking want. All of us were born to make an impact. So, go out and get your dreams people! Don’t let anyone break you. Remember, you’re unbreakable just like me.

Monday Maneuvers….

fucking awesome

As you stretch and shuffle downstairs to get that cup of fearlessness remember you’re going to make Monday your Bitch.

You’ve got this! Do no harm but take no shit……put on that bright bold shade of lipstick or that new tie and swag yourself into the office. Be fierce, Fabulous and Bad Ass.

XOXO

Well Behaved…..Yawn, Stretch, Zzzzzz

How many times have we all heard “Oh Behave”? I’m not talking about the funny Austin Powers shit. I’m talking about your parents telling you this at a wedding or your supervisor at work mentioning it to you. Boring……who the hell wants to behave?

As badly as some of us would like to behave to please our parents, co-workers, supervisors it’s just not in our best interest.

Are you unusual? Quirky? A bit bizarre? I know I am to some people and it freaks them out a lot. Sure, I’m a woman. I wear lipstick, jewelry, and smell nice. But, I’m twisted and freakishly insensitive to others around me.

Filter you say? What the fuck is that? Put a muzzle on it? Try it, you’ll get a throat punch quicker than you can say HELP.

Of course I can turn off my bad ass four-letter words at work to some degree. I would never use profanity speaking with a client. But, there has to be some release and that is my vent sessions with co-workers or with friends or better yet here on my blog.

In the south, the majority of society down here still thinks women shouldn’t be so blunt or speak their mind. We should be more ladylike and serve sweet tea with pie. Well, it’s 2015 fuckers and it’s a whole new world out here. Censoring strong opinionated women is absurd.

It feels good to make noise and be a woman. We’ve got balls. Ours are just on our chest. We need to stand out and be heard. We have something to say. Be crazy about yourself and daring. Never let life break you. Be you and rebel as often as you can get away with.

Because behaving is just too fucking tedious.

XOXO

You Broke Her

This is not my usual style of blogging but thought it needed to be written. There’s a sense of closure once you blog something isn’t there?

I met her in 1987 – We were sophomores in High School. I knew instantly we would be best friends when she walked into class. Her name was Mia.

She was undeniably magical. She wore Liz Claiborne, the original formula and she was the only one I knew that wore it. She had the prettiest most infectious laugh that made you want to be around her. It was almost like a drug. She always wore black and her scarlet red lipstick. She had freckles on her cheeks and a slight copper edgy bob. She drove a maroon 1986 Mustang GT with T-tops.

We hung out everyday at lunch and after school. We had a ton of mutual friends that were an eclectic bunch of mixed athletes, cheerleaders, punk rockers and ROTC kids. We would ride around for hours listening to Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leopard and Night And Day By Al B. Sure and sing at the top of our lungs racing whoever revved up their engine next to us. She knew how to drive to say the least.

After graduation everyone went their separate ways whether it be to college, work, marriage, babies, or whatever. She became an EMT in our hometown and fell in love with a fireman. They soon got married and had two beautiful boys.

We kept in touch via Facebook and whenever I would visit we’d have a girls night out and catch up. A few more years went by and she and her husband called it quits. She had custody of the boys and her ex had them every other weekend.

Mia had a seizure one day while driving to work and was in a car accident. She was diagnosed with epilepsy and lost her job. She moved in with her brother. He was amazing and a helping co-parent with the boys.

This is when her ex husband seized the opportunity to mentally antagonize her. He would constantly tell her she was worthless and had nothing to offer their children or anyone for that matter. He beat her down verbally every chance he got. He would tell her that she was disgusting and asked her one time “Why don’t you just end your life so that we can get on with ours?”

Little did we know that he had said these things to her. Not even her own brother or closest circle knew this. She kept it bottled up until one day she gave up. She had taken all she could from him. She honestly believed she was worthless after he told her over and over again how pathetic she was. He had brain washed her into thinking she was a burden in her mind. She was tired of fighting, begging, and pleading to see her boys.

That day Mia decided to write a note explaining to her loved ones that she had nothing left to offer and how her ex husband brought it to light. She went into detail of the things he had said to her and how painful it had been to hear but how she knew it was true. She said she was sick and her heart was breaking for her boys but she thought they would have a much happier life without her and without the bickering between her and her ex. She wrote each one of them a letter telling them how much she adored them and how she would be watching over them for the rest of their lives.

She took every single one of her medications and by doing so it caused her to have multiple seizures. Her body convulsed so much that it snapped her neck and many of her bones. She died a horrific painful death by the hand of her own and HIS. He broke her into pieces.

Why would anyone EVER put someone down like this? How could someone be so evil? Why didn’t we know? Why didn’t she tell us what she was going through? I often think about these questions and what were the signs that we missed? What IF?

I’m not blogging about this to bring you or anyone down. I’m a very positive, motivating, strong person but I learned a very costly lesson. I wanted to share Mia’s story with you to use this as an example of how we should always be PRESENT in people’s lives that we care about. I also wanted all of you to realize under no circumstances should you EVER allow someone to break you.

You are not weak or worthless. Mia was none of those things. She was an incredible mother, friend, sister, and had so much more to live for. The depression and his evil words broke her down. There was only one of Mia and there is only one of YOU. You have inner strength. You also have people that love you and will be strong for you. Tell them what you’re going through. Let them know you are hurting. They will help build you up. They’ll remind you of what you mean to them and how you’ve inspired them or gotten them through something difficult. We lean on each other.

Don’t you dare hide your pain and suffer alone. Dig deep and fight for yourself. I assure you, you are so worth the fight. Understand that you have so much more inside of you wanting to get out – Let yourself shine. Do not give them the power. We all deserve blissfulness. It might not be happening right this second but it will. Give yourself a chance.

You have wings…spread them and fly! I’m betting on you and I never lose. Pick that beautiful chin up and know you are magnificent. Are you reading this? Are you hearing me? Wake up and look in the mirror and tell yourself “You do not need validation from anyone. You are a fighter and fearless. You have something to offer.”

I hope this helps someone one day. I wish I could’ve said these things to Mia but it’s too late. I didn’t know. I should’ve been there for her and known. I can’t change that. But, I can help motivate and inspire others through my blog.

I loved her and I cherish my memories with her. I’ll never forget her and when I wear scarlet red lipstick she’s with me. She’s smiling and laughing that beautiful laugh of hers. I miss you Mia.