Don’t Even…

Attempt to drink coffee, put on lip stick, or mascara while riding as a passenger in a vehicle with my husband….

I don’t know why, but for some reason I completely forget past experiences like this while riding with him.

We both drive new mustangs and  love driving fast. Here’s the thing though, my husband has the testosterone, alpha dog syndrome, road rage, and let’s face it, he’s a dick. Oh, no worries, I’m not talking behind his back….he references himself as a dick. He’s proud of it. He’s a New Yorker, ahem, let me pronounce that for ya….New Yuka….You know the guys that say “Fugetta bout it” well that’s my hubby.

We live in the Atlanta area and if you’ve ever been to Atlanta you understand traffic is horrendous here. Just yesterday we were on the road and the hubby was driving. I was drinking my delicious caramel macchiato and he is slamming on the brakes or swerving around slow moving vehicles. The macchiato winds up dripping down my chin while all along he’s yelling at the “fuck faces” that don’t know how to drive.

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I ask him….”Have you ever thought that you could actually be one of the fuck faces? Why does this shit happen every time I ride somewhere with you? I can’t put on lipstick, mascara or drink anything while you’re fucking driving, you realize that right? Slow the fuck down?!?!” I mean, it’s like impossible to drive fast in grid lock traffic. I get it, on the back roads when it’s not bumper to bumper that’s when you work out the cob webs under the hood for Christ Sake’s!

Is it just me or does anyone else have a spouse, friend, relative that you hate to ride with? No, I’m not the perfect driver, but at least I’m mindful of the person riding with me! It’s all about the hubby when he’s driving. He thinks he’s the perfect driver and like I ask him all of the time, if you are the perfect driver then why the fuck aren’t you a Nascar driver and why aren’t we fucking rich?

His Answer: Dead Air

Thanks for letting me vent loves!

Yours Truly, Macchiatto Chin

 

 

 

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