Forever And A Day

I know, I know, it’s been forever and a day since I’ve blogged, posted Mullet Monday or Hump Day Shenanigan’s. I do have a good excuse though…hopefully you’ll understand loves?

I’ll start at the beginning….

A few weeks ago the owner of the company I work for lost it. He screamed at another manager in front of six other employees and it was completely uncalled for. He belittled her and used some pretty rough language. It humiliated her and every single person in that room was offended. All she could do was walk outside and cry after being put down and ridiculed. We all wanted to follow him up front and confront him but we all needed our jobs, paychecks, etc. We were too afraid to speak up.

An hour went by and one of our competitors called me directly and asked if I would be interested in a job opportunity with their company. I said “Absolutely” and gave her my cell # and told her the best time to reach me as I was at work of course. Later that evening she did a brief phone interview with me and then set up the face to face the following week. I met two men at a downtown hotel lobby and was interviewed for about an hour and a half. When I walked back to my car I had a sense of comfort. Normally I’m really nervous, anxious, and super stressed when it comes to interviews. I hadn’t had one in over a year. But, these two guys made me feel really comfortable and I could be myself. Nope, not the Lennon you all know, I didn’t drop F bombs or anything. Ha!

The very next day I got a call back that they wanted me to come by their facility to take a tour and a second interview. As I pulled into the parking lot I was intimidated immediately by the size of the building, the tall windows, the large amount of equipment surrounding the parking lot and the back area. I dabbed on some lipstick and made sure that my crisp white collar was straight along with my pencil skirt straightened and grabbed my notepad and folder and walked up the steps to the front glass doors. As I opened the doors and walked into the receptionist area and announced I was there she led me through a large open room that looked like how I imagine a Wall Street office would look. Some employees were sitting while conversing on phones and some were standing and pacing talking on headsets. I was introduced to the director of operations and offered a cup of coffee, juice or water and declined as he said “Have a seat Lennon.” He began asking the same questions as the other two guys and giving me what if scenarios and how would you handle the situations? I replied with directness, knowledge, and candidness. The director showed no emotion as I kept eye contact the entire time. He took me on a tour after the interrogation and I was extremely impressed.

As he walked me out to my car and shook my hand and told me to have a great day….I slid into the driver’s seat, fastened my seat belt, took the top down and blasted Earth Wind & Fire as I drove home wondering if I would get the offer. I couldn’t read the director. Normally I can read people very well but this one, he was tough. I decided to enjoy the sunshine that day since I was off so I flopped onto my float in the pool with a frozen drink and listened to music I felt at peace. Great if I hear back and get the offer and if I don’t, I have a job working for a mother fucker. Either way, I have a job.

The next morning I received a written offer via e-mail and I was elated. They offered me $20,000 more thousand dollars than I’m making now and I had no clue that I was worth that much. I kept re-reading it to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Listen up loves, Lennon has no college degree and only has work experience and knowledge of the business so needless to say, I happily accepted.

I turned in my two week notice and the owner was quite the dick about the whole thing. I worked out my two week notice even though he treated me like shit the entire two weeks that I trained three people how to do my job. The reason I stayed and worked it out was because I felt bad for the people having to take on my responsibilities. I cried my eyes out on my last day saying goodbye to my dysfunctional work family. I had worked with these people for ten years. But, I’m excited to say after my first week at the new much larger company that I know without a doubt I made the right decision. Being the warehouse manager at this company is less responsibility than I had at my previous job but I’m over more employees. So far it’s been wonderful.

Want to hear the best part of this? Remember the manager that got screamed at and cussed out in front of a bunch of people? Well, I got her a job there too and she starts next week. Yippy Ki Yay Mother Fucker! Now you’ve lost two dedicated people because of your egotistical arrogant self centered ways. Chew on that douche bag.

Anyway, with the transitioning of me training three employees before I left and starting a new career adventure I’m off my blog game. I’m really behind with everything in my personal life. Hoping you can forgive me?

I should be back on schedule with Mullet Monday and Hump Day Shenanigan’s this week 🙂

XO – Lennon

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What Do You Do?

Hey Loves,

It’s Sunday and I’m basically doing not much of anything. While I sit here preparing blogs for the week and getting my mindset for Monday I can’t help but wonder…what do all of you do for a living? How do you earn your paycheck? Maybe you’re a housewife – hardest job ever! Stay at home Dad? Possibly retired? If you’re retired what did you do? If you don’t work, what would you like to do for a living? If you’re on disability, what is your disability? School me on your lives will you?

What do I do? I sell industrial parts for forklifts, sweepers, utility carts, and scissor lifts. I purchase all of the parts for our company, keep the inventory discrepancies low, quote parts, invoice the clients for the parts. I also go out to call on customer’s from time to time or to “fix” their issues. I also help out the other departments with our software and training new people.

Tell me what fills your days?  🙂

 

 

Good Thing You’re Pretty

I hear this often. Perhaps four out of six bosses have mentioned this to me.

It’s not because I’m brainless, lazy or stupid but because of……Wanna take a guess? Yep, No filter. Or better yet, doing what I want and how I want to do it.

Why wait for permission when I can ask for forgiveness later. Patience is not my BFF.

Besides, I exceed my monthly goal every single month…What? What?

The majority of the time I’m just as shocked as they are when things come out of my mouth. Especially if they have me on speaker.

I don’t take offense to the comment “Good thing you’re pretty” because it’s actually probably saved my ass a few times.

Although some people might think this is downgrading or belittling me, I don’t.

I actually think it’s humorous because they’re allowing me to control the situation and they’re being outwitted by me batting my eyelashes. How crazy is that? I’m being serious about this too.

Conceited? Not really. I just have confidence and I’m happy. Haven’t you ever heard “Happy girls are the prettiest?” I always choose happy.

So go ahead boss and tell me it’s a good thing I’m pretty. I’ll use it to my advantage every fucking chance I get.

Everyday I’m hustlin’ 💋

Extraordinary Wednesday

“Don’t be like the rest of them Darling”

Seriously…..make an impression. We’re born to stand out don’t you think?

If you disagree with me then I’m encouraging you to believe in yourself. Understand you are an original. There’s not anyone else like you or me.

Are you on point today? Bring it and own it.

Remember, Bitches get shit done 💋

Theatrical Pity

There are many things that annoy me but the #1 annoyance is the whole “Pity Me” theatrical.

People that are so self-absorbed and whimper about the slightest little thing provoke my dark sarcastic split personality.

For instance, someone I work with is constantly whining about her neck, step daughter’s doctor’s appointments, the rain, the ugly colored flowers in front of our office, the grass not being green enough?

Another example is of another co-worker that gets in a fowl mood of “feel sorry for me” because I hate my job and then talks “baby talk” all day long. I can barely understand what she’s saying. All I hear coming out of her mouth is “Goo Goo Gah Gah”.

It’s almost as if these people are unstable or something. When I come into work I don’t bring in any drama from my personal life, that is IF I have any. I’m pretty much a drama free chic. I can’t stand that shit obviously.

I just don’t understand why people don’t make a change if they’re so miserable with their circumstances. Either change your attitude or handle your shit. Or better yet be grateful for what is going right in your life. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Why always look at the negative in your life and bitch and moan about it to everyone else?

Pull yourself up and brush that dirt off your shoulders and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not attractive and you’re killin everyone else’s vibes. Don’t be a fucking downer.

Ok, now that I’ve turned into one of these people by blogging about it and being a whiny little bitch, I’ll end my rant.

Now, let’s be fierce and fabulous and get shit done! 🙂

Operation Monday

Monday Eve’s prep……

Last week negativity called me up for a booty call. I wasn’t feelin’ it so I happily told negativity to go fuck itself. Abstinence never felt so good.

I often hear co-workers spewing bitterness about their jobs and how they’re being mistreated by their manager or the company. Sure, there are times where I feel the same way. I don’t discuss it out loud to bring others down. There’s no need in allowing it to affect my work or take it out on any of my co-workers.

I actually call this “The Sickness”. It’s when the negativity plays house in their brains and the words “It’s not fair” come into play.

The Sickness is an infection that needs a remedy stat!

If you’re feeling any symptoms that point in the direction of the The Sickness, get help fast! No need in their germs sweeping through the office like a parasite.

Disinfect yourself before entering the ward tomorrow. Spray on some “Bitch Puh-lease” repellent and handle yourself. Put on your mental mask and shield that bacteria.

Remember, you have choices, do you want to be encouraging or disheartening? You can’t be both darlings, pick carefully.

Come At Me Bruh – See What Happens

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I know I’m usually a positive kinda girl and post motivational things. Today really isn’t one of those days.

Yesterday life gave me a booty call and I’m still sore today. Yep, I got fucked over yesterday by a couple of douches at work.

Don’t you love it when you have this amazing idea and someone steels it? I despise thieves.

Now to get my revenge. I know, I shouldn’t probably think like that but come on, do you know me? Do you REALLY know me? I can be a bit avenging to say the least. Don’t fuck with me or my people.

I spoke up in the meeting and called them out on it but then I winded up looking like a babbling psycho. I was so outraged. You see, when I get enraged I break out in hives and veins are popping out of my neck. I can’t hide my feelings. So, on top of not having a filter for my mouth, my issues are written all over my face, neck, chest, etc.

Well, these blood sucking conniving co-workers just handed me the scissors. No more assistance from me on their presentations, sales reports, and sales leads. I constantly throw these mother fuckers a bone to help them out. I am by far a team player and often help others out with their responsibilities because I’m that fucking efficient. Bitches get shit done son! I am constantly asking if anyone else needs assistance.

That shit just came to an immediate halt. How much do you want to bet when I’m distant, cold, and put them on ignore with my rested bitch face they’re going to ask “What’s wrong?” “Are you OK?” Doesn’t that always seem to happen?

Watch out sales dicks I’m coming for ya today! No worries loves, I’ll walk in with all black, my red lipstick, and hold my head up high, can’t let the crown slip can I?

Let my scheming and vengeance begin!

XOXO

Well Behaved…..Yawn, Stretch, Zzzzzz

How many times have we all heard “Oh Behave”? I’m not talking about the funny Austin Powers shit. I’m talking about your parents telling you this at a wedding or your supervisor at work mentioning it to you. Boring……who the hell wants to behave?

As badly as some of us would like to behave to please our parents, co-workers, supervisors it’s just not in our best interest.

Are you unusual? Quirky? A bit bizarre? I know I am to some people and it freaks them out a lot. Sure, I’m a woman. I wear lipstick, jewelry, and smell nice. But, I’m twisted and freakishly insensitive to others around me.

Filter you say? What the fuck is that? Put a muzzle on it? Try it, you’ll get a throat punch quicker than you can say HELP.

Of course I can turn off my bad ass four-letter words at work to some degree. I would never use profanity speaking with a client. But, there has to be some release and that is my vent sessions with co-workers or with friends or better yet here on my blog.

In the south, the majority of society down here still thinks women shouldn’t be so blunt or speak their mind. We should be more ladylike and serve sweet tea with pie. Well, it’s 2015 fuckers and it’s a whole new world out here. Censoring strong opinionated women is absurd.

It feels good to make noise and be a woman. We’ve got balls. Ours are just on our chest. We need to stand out and be heard. We have something to say. Be crazy about yourself and daring. Never let life break you. Be you and rebel as often as you can get away with.

Because behaving is just too fucking tedious.

XOXO