One of my best friends “Rhonnie” lives at the beach. We text all the time.
Rhonnie: So I’m out running errands. Get in Bessie to go home and as soon as I do my brother calls to shoot the shit. So I get out and sit on the curb. We are talking for 10 minutes and all of the sudden I feel little bites on my nute-nute and buttocks. Now keep in mind I went commando today. So I stand up and apparently I was sitting 3” away from an ant hill. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. I brush off the ants I can see and get in Bessie to finish our dialogue when all of the sudden I start to see ants coming out my shorts. No joke Sista! I. AM. FREAKING. OUT. Do you think those little fuckers went up my nute-nute? I feel like a thousand of them are in my shorts! 😩😳☹️😡🤢😬🤦🏼♀️🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜
Me: Sweet Baby Jesus! Get home and flush out the nute nute with diet coke…..it can’t be caffeinated or the nute nute becomes aroused for italian sausage 😂
Rhonnie: What?!?! You’re so fucking weird!