If I Had A Penis…

Yes, this phrase has been used for quite some time. I’m not the first female to wish she had a penis. I don’t wish for one because I’m a lesbian. Nope. I wish I had one for other reasons.

1.) At work it seems like when I speak, the men never listen. They DO listen to each other. They are coming up with ideas on how to solve a problem when meanwhile I’ve already solved it and taken care of it. I’m speaking and explaining it but the deep voices are still loud AF and booming while ignoring me. If I had a penis, it would be 15″ long and I would just pull it out and lay it on the conference table and demand their attention. Bet they would listen to me then.

2.) I would use it to knock things over. I think instead of being angry and using my words, I would just whip it out and just knock things off of the desk on purpose to put a dramatic effect on a situation.

3.) If someone pissed me off, I would hit them in the forehead with it.

4.) I would wear a cup outside of my leggings/pants, etc. to accentuate the bulge so that everyone would know who they’re dealing with. I would be the “Big Dick” for a change.

5.) I could tell people to suck my cock and be legit. Of course, I’ve been known to say that before a few times but didn’t have the cock to back up that statement.

Well, that’s all the reasons I can think of for now on why I would like to have one. I would just need a detachable one since I am quite fond of my lady parts. A girl can dream right?






  1. The V Pub · April 2

    Lmao!! Great to see you back again 👍👍👍


  2. Tony Burgess · April 2

    Welcome back. I wish that body parts weren’t a thing so that people could be taken seriously, or something like that.


  3. Woebegone but Hopeful · April 2

    Back with style Lennon!


  4. John W. Howell · April 3

    Good to see you are still kicking, Lennon. 😀


  5. theacquiescentsoul · April 3

    In fairness, your absence has been a kick in the dick… 😉
    Glad to see you, my sweet Lennon!


  6. Simon · April 4

    Oh dear this is funny 😀


  7. grandfathersky · April 10

    I fear you’d find it to be quite annoying, nagging, always in the way, never comfortable, never satisfied 😉


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