It’s been a while since I’ve posted about what’s going on in my little world so thought it was overdue. Not that any of you are that interested in my daily situations but this is my journal of sorts as well so it’s good to write out your feelings right?
Let’s see….we went to a Billy Joel concert last weekend and he was incredible. He played all of his hits like Uptown Girl, Allentown, She’s Got A Way, Just The Way You Are, Movin’ Out, My Life, Pressure, It’s Still Rockin’ Roll To Me, Piano Man, NY State Of Mind and so much more. Because he was playing at the Braves Stadium here in Atlanta he also played a few songs by Georgia artists like “I Feel Good” by James Brown, Midnight Train To Georgia by Gladys & The Pips”. He brought out one of his roadies and the roadie sang Highway To Hell by ACDC while Billy Joel played guitar. It was fantastic. A young lady sitting next to me had a lot to drink so she puked all over the person in front of her and some of it landed on my feet as well. Ick. I didn’t let it ruin my fun though, I kept dancing and singing along. Of course after I cleaned off my shoes. Ha.
I finally made an appointment with a shrink about my anger issues at work and how I am out of control with my RMS. (Restless Mouth Syndrome) – For those of you that aren’t familiar with my made up diagnosis that’s when you get so angry that shit flies out of your mouth. That’s one of my symptoms, the others are my heart racing and feeling it’s about to jump out of my chest, breaking out in hives, turning very red when I’m angry and breathing rapidly and ready to throat punch someone.
When I went into the appointment he asked the basic questions why am I there and I explained and gave examples of situations where I had lost control (no, I didn’t hit anyone) but I did ask a guy if his balls were the size of a tic tack and that he needed to grow some. Then he asked if I was suicidal or homicidal and I said no, not at all. He then told me that I should go home and watch some youtube videos of how Obama handled confrontation in press conferences and such. He also recommended a book as well. I asked how is that going to help with my heart pounding so fast and my hives etc? He said I would work that out if I watch Obama and read the book.
Needless to say, that was a waste of time. Sure, I voted for Obama and I think he speaks very well other than the Um’s he would consistently say in between his speeches but he is a class act and knew how to handle himself. But, I need a happy pill or a calming pill. I truly think I have anxiety and need something. I do for the most part TRY very hard to remain calm and to hold things in but as they say the struggle is very real.
Friday afternoon, I had an appointment with my primary care doctor to see if he could prescribe something or advise me on what to do. Before I left for the Dr. appointment there was an incident at work where the owner screamed at another manager in front of several people. He yelled “You need to learn how to fucking communicate. Send someone now and learn to do your fucking job!” There are five of us in an open room with desks and there were a few others in there at the counters and I was actually on the phone with a client while this was going on. The owner stormed out of the room papers flying everywhere as he waved his arms like a fucking bird mumbling under his breath. It took everything in me not to follow him and confront him but I need my job desperately as I have bills to pay. How dare him speak to anyone like that? No one deserves to be spoken to in that manner and in front of her staff. She ran outside humiliated crying. I went after her and told her to just take a deep breath and that he was wrong to treat her that way.
By the time I got to my Dr.’s appointment I was red with hives and my heart was racing. My BP was higher than it’s ever been. I’ve never had high BP ever. The Dr. prescribed a generic version of cymbalta which is called duloxetine. Let’s hope it helps. I took it yesterday morning and this morning. Side effects so far are cold all the time, loss of appetite, extremely tired. That’s about it. I can handle those, not bad at all. Let’s just hope I don’t lose it on Monday when the owner acts like nothing ever happened and tries to act like we’re all friends again.
I hope all of you have a fantastic Sunday and thanks for stopping by. 🙂