Normally I steer away from politics, sex, religion, and other topics that cause roaring and confrontation. But, I felt the need to blog about this one because I see or hear about it every single da…
Source: Releasing Hate
Just a short, quick post to remind bloggers who are interested in voting for a city to host a proposed U.S. Blogging Event (similar to the Bloggers Bash held in London earlier this year). You have until August 6th (a week from Saturday) to vote. The proposed event is scheduled for September 2, 2017, so there is plenty of time to plan.
If you have already voted, please spread to word to other bloggers to let them know of the deadline to vote. Be sure to send them to this link: https://joyfulprocessblog.com/2016/07/06/u-s-blogging-event-poll/
The poll can be found at the bottom of that post. Thanks to all of those who have voted, reblogged the post or just spread the word!
Bestie Rhonnie:The fridge broke…tore that bitch apart. I. Fixed. It. Rhonnie adjusts tool belt and scratches imaginary balls
Me: That’s right, bitches get shit done SON!
The next day….
Bestie Rhonnie: Scratched the imaginary balls a little too prematurely, guess who’s buying a new fridge today?
Sigh…..this hump day shenanigans is a bit more personal….no fear, it will still be funny (I hope?) I’m beginning to run out of ideas so why not share something from my past right?
It was 1988 and I was sixteen years old. I was on my third date with Todd. My curfew was 10:30 pm and it was a Friday night. I decided to invite him in after our date.
I had already asked my Dad and Step Mom if it would be OK…My Step Mom Dottie assured me that they would be tucked away in bed by 10:30. This way I would have the living room all to myself to watch Less Than Zero. I had gotten the VHS tape for my birthday that year. It had the best sex scene ever in it with Andrew McCarthy and Jami Gertz in a hallway hiking up her skirt. It also had Robert Downey, Jr. in it. This would guarantee a serious make out session. By the way, if you’ve never seen the movie, I strongly suggest watching it, it’s one of my favorites from the eighties…
Make Out Session in my 16 year old mind was: French Kissing, Ass Grabbing and maybe allowing him to touch my tits. That was making out to me. I had only kissed one boy before and I was ready to take it to the next step which I thought was very serious.
As I unlocked the door and Todd followed me into the house there was one lamp on in the living room and all of the other lights were out. I put my finger over my lips…”Shhh” I had to check to see if I could hear anyone breathing or talking in the house. Not a peep.
We scurried around getting the movie going and piled up on the sofa and cut out the lamp. The only light on was the flashing of the scenes for Less Than Zero. We were under a blanket cuddled up kissing within seconds. I couldn’t believe it….I was actually finally going to make out with this cute, tall, dark and handsome boy that was popular and drove a really cool 1965 red Chevy pick up truck. He was different because he would open the door for me, bring me some sort of flower every time he picked me up from his Mom’s garden and called me sweetheart with his deep southern laid back voice. I really, really liked him a lot.
Within a few minutes he had manged to unhook my bra and I was in the moment. He tasted like sweet peppermint and smelled like Drakar…….
Suddenly I heard a door open and a thump, thump, thump down the hallway. Who was it? My little sister didn’t walk that hard and neither did my Step Mom…..it was dark and I couldn’t see who was coming in….Our living room, dining room and kitchen were all open for an entertaining floor plan. No closed doors in any of those rooms. It seemed like it took forever because Todd’s hand had stopped creeping around to my chest and he seemed frozen and in shock like me. I think both of our hearts stopped beating. Whoever was coming could clearly see us bundled up on the sofa from the Less Than Zero movie putting a spotlight on our frightened faces….
It was DAD. My Dad was thumping along into the kitchen in his tight white underwear and nothing else on. My Dad was close to 400 lbs back then and he turned towards the refrigerator and opened it which put the spotlight on his very large belly and furry back. He stood staring into the fridge scratching his ass trying to decide what he was going to devour. Meanwhile Todd whispers “Is that your Dad? Why isn’t he wearing any clothes??? He looks like a grizzly bear…” Before I could answer him my Dad bends down to pick up something out of the fridge and lets out a nasty loud ass fart.
Todd jumps up throws the blanket on the floor and says “I gotta go. See you tomorrow.” He runs out of my house as fast as possible and my Dad turns to look at me with the gallon of chocolate milk in his hand and says “Hope he didn’t leave on account of me Darlin'”
Me: “Are you fucking kidding me Dad? Dottie told you to go to bed and she promised me ya’ll would leave me alone so I could have the living room for me and Todd!!!!”
Dad: “Darlin, you know Dottie falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow and I’m not going to let you sit in here with a fuckwad taking advantage of you. You know me better than that. Nighty Night, sleep tight, see you in the morning.”
He waddled down the hall back to their room and shut the door.
Nope, Todd never asked me out again and I didn’t even get felt up. So much for my big make out session.
Thanks A lot Dad!
Leaving you all with this iconic song from the Less Than Zero soundtrack. Have a great hump day loves!
Hey Loves, Yesterday I posted about being a little sad and at a loss of words….I was in a bit of mood if you will. It doesn’t happen that often. But, a couple of weeks ago I lost my darling pup and it’s crushed me. But, this morning I woke up to find one of my favorites had nominated me for this really fun Makeitultraaward. This gave me something to blog about, Yay! Thanks Lisa 🙂 It couldn’t have come at a better time for me.
Let me introduce Lisa to all of you in case you’re not already following her…She reels me in with her music and tales of her city, El Paso. I’m a bit new to her blog but I can tell you what I see is fantastic. She interacts with her readers every chance she gets and she’s extremely kind, genuine, sweet, and knowledgeable about music as well as her city. Please stop in and introduce yourself to her and I promise she’ll welcome you into her blog home with open arms.
The MakeItUltra™ Blogger Award is an award given to bloggers by bloggers for quality content, originality and presentation. The intention of this award is to encourage connectivity and support in the blogging community and to increase exposure for individual bloggers.
Always rules right?
If you have been nominated for the MakeItUltra™ Blogger Award and choose to accept it, write a blog post about the MakeItUltra™ Blogger Award in which you:
Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog. Take a moment to positively promote the person who nominated you.
Display the award on your blog by adding it to your post and/or displaying it using a widget on your page (Save the image to your computer and upload it to your blog post). Don’t forget to use the tag #MyUltraAward when you make your post!
Answer the MakeItUltra™ Blogger Award questions listed below.
Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the MakeItUltra™ Blogger Award and provide a link for them to your post.
- What is your name? Lennon Carlyle
- Where are you from? Atlanta, Ga.
- How long have you been blogging and why did you start? Last week was my one year anniversary here on WP blogging. The reason I started blogging is to venture out into my dream of writing. Nope, probably won’t ever make any money at it but it’s an adventure that I’ve wanted to embark on all my life. It’s a release for me and I’ve met so many amazing friends here…I can’t imagine my life without blogging now.
- What are you most proud of? My strength. Not the body builder kind of strength but the inner stuff. Being talked down to a lot throughout my life hurt throughout the years but it’s also made me resilient to bullshit and strong enough to detect it when I sniff it out.
- What are your blogging goals? To grow and encourage others to find their strength and throw in some humor here and there.
- How do you spend your free time? Of course writing when I have something on my mind, music, traveling, fashion, cooking, meeting new people, and any type of adventure.
- Provide 5 random facts about yourself….
1.) I’ve never watched Star Wars before.
2.) I have two tattoos
3.) My favorite show is Ray Donovan
4.) Love fast cars
5.) I’m a mutt/mix if you will of french, Irish and Scottish
– Nominate 1-8 blogs that you feel deserve the award and provide links. ***You don’t have to participate and I know a lot of my friends do not do the awards and that’s OK but this is a compliment and I want to share your blogs, hope you don’t mind 🙂 ***
Sure do miss that furry face in the picture on the little table. He crossed the rainbow bridge a little over two weeks ago. Still stings my heart and eyes to think about it. Seems strange not hearing the pitter patter of paws scurrying throughout the house. Moving on now…..
We arrived back home this morning around 11 am after visiting my family over the weekend. Since I’ve arrived I’ve done laundry, prepared salads for tomorrow’s lunches, made homemade meatballs, did the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, painted my toenails and fingernails and now what to do?
It’s too hot outside to do anything that’s for sure. Sure there are many topics I could write about but I’m lacking in motivation today.
I’m enjoying reading your blogs. Thanks for keeping me entertained. Hopefully I’ll feel inspired again soon.
My Aunt is freaked out by cats…she’s also highly allergic to them. They creep her out big time….
Aunt: Remember when you were little and I had to put up a baby gate to keep you out of the living room from ripping the heads off of my barbies and you were blowing snot bubbles? You were a demon child.
Me: This pussy is coming to get you, it’s going to steal your breath tonight, stop fucking reminiscing about shit and sober up!
<<<Photo Cred: Neighbors Kitty Franklin that is extremely nosy and always presses his cute little nose against my storm door>>>
Unapologetic – Definition: not acknowledging or expressing regret.
There’s nothing more extraordinary, nor more dazzling than someone being unapologetically themselves; comfortable in their skin, along with their flaws, glitches and imperfections. I’m one of those people that are unapologetic.
In my lifetime I’ve had the attitude of…. What you see is what you get. I’m an acquired unique taste. Whatever is on my mind comes up and comes out, no filtration. You either love me or hate me, it’s that simple. Why would I want to be anything other than that? It’s how I’m built. I’m unashamed and confident.
Sometimes when a person knows what they want, what they need and is determined to go after it people tend to talk smack about them. What’s wrong with someone going after their dreams? Jealousy is a disease, they need to find the antidote fast.
Self-assurance is the key to success and…
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Happy Humping Loves!