Hump Day Shenanigans

Hi Loves! I’ve been super busy this last week. I’m severely behind on reading your blogs and posting myself. I hope to get back to normal some time next week. I was out of town this past weekend and now having company visit this coming weekend. But, I couldn’t forget Hump Day now could I? Get to humping ya’ll!





Hump Day Shenanigans

Happy Hump Day Loves!

I have many favorite SNL skits but this one is my absolute favorite. Huge fan of Leslie Jones, she’s fucking fantastically funny! Most of you  have already probably seen this clip but if you haven’t….brace yourself for a good snort laugh.  On with the laughing…..


I swear sometimes I feel like I sound like a broken, warped, cracked record. But here I go again…..

Father’s Day at my sister’s house was nice. I enjoyed spending time with my niece and nephew playing, laughing, and holding them. They give the best cuddles EVER. I mean they smell like snuggles fabric softner and they love to hug me. Even after they’ve hugged me when I walk in the door….I’ll be loading the dish washer or doing something around the house while everyone is talking and they latch onto my leg wanting more hugs. They make me feel so special. These kids are so perfect to me. Why can’t they stay at the tender ages of four and two?

At our Father’s Day celebration my brother-in-law’s parents were visiting. I’m not a fan of his Dad at all. His Mom is a beautiful, caring, sweet and a timid soul. She always seems like a wilted flower to me. She seems scared or frightened to say much of anything to anyone. When she does talk it’s about her grandchildren, her gardening or work stuff. I always enjoy our chats when I do see her. But, her husband is basically a low hanging meat grape. What’s that you ask? It’s a raging festering bleeding hemorrhoid.

Why would I say this about someone? Because he belittles his wife and his own Mom. His Mom is 80 years old and has cancer. She has little use of her hands and is going through chemo and radiation. He told us all at the dinner table that his wife had wrecked their car and how it was all her fault. He said she should’ve kept her fat ass at work instead of out gallivanting on her lunch break. She was with a lady from work going out to lunch and was a four way stop sign. No one was charged for the accident by the police so in my eyes it’s not her fault. Besides, why would you call your wife a fat ass?! He was also bragging about how he makes his Mom cook him dinner some nights when his wife is working. “So what she can’t use her hands sometimes. I don’t care if she has cancer. It’s tough love. If I make her do things for me she’ll get better. If she sits around moping she’ll die.” He said all of these things in front of both women.

I didn’t open my mouth. I feel like I should have. My husband said it’s probably good that I didn’t or it would’ve caused a lot of problems within the family and would’ve made everyone feel awkward. Really? As though no one felt awkward already? But, I didn’t want it to make things worse with me telling him that he was a fucking asshole and that I would meet him in the drive way and bring him to his fucking knees by grabbing his needle dick and crunching it in my fist. The thought crossed my mind to do this and to ask him to squeal like a girl but I kept the peace. He and his wife have been together for 30  years. She’s put up with his bullshit for that long. His Mom was laughing as he said the things about her and I couldn’t believe she would laugh at his harsh words. Maybe it was a nervous thing for her. Neither women spoke up for themselves. Neither did anyone else in the room, not even his son listening to his Dad downgrade two of the most important women in his life. It sickened me and hurt me to not say anything.

I’m trying to decide if I should take a stand and tell my sister that I won’t be coming back to the next family event if he’ll be there. But, I don’t want to miss birthdays and family celebrations. Should I have said something?

What would you have done? Keep in mind I’m a chic and we’re in the south. A lot of the men in the south are like this. And, when a woman speaks up to a man like this it’s a big fucking deal. I hate causing waves but I feel like something should’ve been said. There were about 10 of us adults sitting at the table while this conversation was going on.

Oh yeah, he was talking about some show he’s been watching how “hard” he got watching it and how he would’ve liked to have done a few things to the chic on the show. Yeah, this was in front of his wife, his Mom, myself, my sister and my Step Mom. Sick mother fucker.

Not that I’m one to really give any advice but ladies and gentlemen, if you’re ever disrespected, disparaged, undervalued by your significant other…..Check them hard. What I mean is you’re not anyone’s doormat. You are valued. Stand up for yourself. It’s unacceptable for anyone to be treated this way. Do not hold your head down and be ashamed. If they abuse you verbally, physically, etc. get the fuck out. Don’t know how? Tell a friend. Someone will help you. If you don’t have anyone there’s places you can call. Google it. It’s not just women that go through this. It’s men too. I’ve witnessed it.I know it’s not that easy and some people feel like they cannot go anywhere or they’re too afraid.

I can say if I were living with someone like this I would hurt him badly. I wouldn’t kill him but I would make him very sick. There are so many things I would do to make him suffer. I would make him regret every damn thing he’d ever done to me. He would have the shits daily and nightly because I would put something in his food. I would also put a brown recluse spider in his underwear while he was sleeping. Oh the things I would come up with to hurt him. He would deserve everything I did too. Ok, I’m not that crazy but you get the drift.

So, back to my question….what would you do?








Thursday Rant


I’m in no mood for stupid, lazy, ignorant, self righteous people today at work. I need a case of this Fuck Off Spray because I’m surrounded by idiots pretty much at the office.

The other day we had a really bad storm and the roof was leaking. Water was dripping from the light fixture right above my computer. Before I left I wrapped it up with whatever I could find like trash bags etc. to protect it overnight. The owner’s solution??? Duct tape or sealant…..

Nope, they didn’t call a professional but instead had one of the Fuck Nuggets to put a bandaid on it. I see a new computer in my future.

Thanks for letting me vent this morning loves! Prepare for the day and be sure to carry some powerful Fuck Off Spray to ward off the idiots.

Finding A Girlfriend – X Rated

So, it’s not hump day yet but with all of the sadness in the latest events I figured we could all use a laugh today to lighten the mood a little.

You were warned so you can’t complain in your comments below if you’re not feelin’ this one K? I absolutely LOVE Nikki Glaser’s show “Not Safe With Nikki Glaser” on the comedy channel. What can I say? I have a sick, twisted and warped sense of humor but the GOOD news is OBVIOUSLY a lot of other people do too or this show wouldn’t exist. Yes!!!! Others like me, thank goodness!

This clip is one of my favorites from her show. Have a laugh to get your day started 🙂

Heavy Heart

I hit a dry spell this week on writing. I’ve been suffering from insomnia lately. Some people might blog better if they’re wide awake but me, not so much.

Yesterday I had many different things on my mind I wanted to blog about but didn’t have time. Then as I woke up and cut on the news this morning while having my coffee I saw another tragedy occurred.

By now you’ve all seen the news about Christina Grimmie’s death. A remarkable talent she was from The Voice. Too young to die that’s for sure.

And then over 50 deaths this morning at the Pulse night club in Orlando, FL. What the fuck is wrong with people? I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, transgender, bi-sexual, caucasian, african american, asian, democratic, republican, christian, islamic, muslim, atheist or whatever. This hurts deeply. Too many people are being killed all over the world. I’m sickened by the hatred and the violence. I’m not blaming the guns. I’m blaming the psychotic, radical, demonic, mother fuckers that think they have the right to kill innocent people. Who the fuck do they think they are? I’m enraged at these horrific shootings.

In these two cases these people were having a good time and living their lives. Now their precious lives are gone. Their loved ones are left with the unknown and the heartbreak of losing them way too soon. It’s gut wrenching to say the least.

I’m not sure why these horrible things continue to happen. All I know is that I’m praying, sending positive vibes and nothing but love to all who were impacted by this shocking tragedy. Can we all just show love for one another at this very sad time whatever our differences are? It’s really not too much to ask.

This song by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Same Love Featuring Mary Lambert is a way of looking at same love / equal love in a different light if you’re heterosexual. I think it brings a true light to the understanding of it.