My aunt is in her early fifties so she’s few years older than me. She’s one of my closest and best friends. She used to babysit me and likes to tell me stories about when I was a toddler and how I would blow snot bubbles out of my nose. She used to have to barricade herself from me with a baby gate to keep me away from her barbies. For some odd reason I liked ripping the heads off with my teeth. I guess I was a psychotic blonde blue eyed little cherub? Don’t single me out though…..come on, most toddlers are weird. When I see them they remind me of drunk people. They’re always stumbling around as if they don’t know where they live or where they’re going. They put their fingers up their nose and look dazed, confused and let’s face it, you can’t understand a word they’re saying can you? They’re slurred and drooling, are they not?
We went to visit my Aunt and Uncle a couple of weeks ago for a weekend trip. It consisted of drinking, swearing, listening to music, eating, shopping, repeat. We always have a blast with them.
She texts me yesterday….
“What does Cake By The Ocean mean? I like this song.”
Keep in mind my personality is a mix of Amy Schumer and Tina Fey. My Aunt believes anything I tell her. She’s such an easy target for me.
Me: “Anal sex on the beach with a broom handle. Cut that shit off. You’re listening to porn music!”
Aunt: “LOL, I thought it meant sex! Geez, I like that song. Guess I’ll have to find another song to run through my head!”
Me: “Just kidding, it’s sex on the beach.”
Aunt: “LOL! You had me fooled! I need to be more street/music savvy. You’ll understand when you’re in your 50’s.”
Me: “50’s ain’t shit! You still got it going on. You drink, listen to rap, hip hop, swear, have weed in your fridge and go to Sunday School…you’re the coolest people I know. I hope I’m like you when I’m 50!”
Aunt: “I told you about the weed?”
Me: “Yep, your drunk ass offered us some. Everything else you told me is a secret. My lips are sealed.”
Ha! God I love her so much. She didn’t tell me any deep dark secrets while she was drunk thank goodness but she could if she wanted to. I would take it to the grave with me. Of course, there’s always the exception here with posting it if it’s funny. But, that’s OK, I don’t use my real name or her name at all so it’s still safe. I adore her. She’s the one person in my family that I can be myself with and she loves me unconditionally. She would follow my blog if I told her about it. One day I might. Moments with her I cherish. She’s more like a big sister than an Aunt. I really wish we lived closer. I miss her.
Anyway, hoping all of you have an Aunt like mine that is accepting, non-judgemental, that you can confide in and be loved unconditionally.
If you’ve not listened to Cake By The Ocean by DNCE check it out below and why haven’t you heard it? They play the hell out of it on the radio? 🙂
Happy Friday Loves!