Today one of our salesmen approached me “Are you in a bad mood today?” I responded “No, why?” He then proceeds to tell me that some of my co-workers are afraid to approach me at times as I give off this vibe that I’m pissed off about something.
Sure, sometimes I purposely give off that vibe to some because they’re lazy, stupid and annoying so I figure if I have my eyebrows clinched and point at my headset “pretending” to be on the phone when they’re trying to talk to me they’ll walk away. It’s not the first time I’ve heard some are afraid of me……I can respect that since I do have RMS (Restless Mouth Syndrome). Whatever comes up comes out. Again, no filtration sometimes, well, most of the time.
Of course, he wanted a favor, for me to fix something he had royally fucked up. He used his charm with “I know you can fix anything Lennon. You’re the master manipulator of our system.”
Hmmm, normally flattery gets people everywhere with me but this guy is always dicking around watching you tube videos or looking at porn and meanwhile fucking things up. He’s always nice to me and I usually cave and help him out. I’ve shown him how NOT to cause the problem but he’s a little dense I suppose. So, I told him I would get to it some time today as I was pretty slammed when he approached me this morning.
Problem is, while I was covered up all day quoting, selling, handling returns, inventory, training the new guy, helping other departments to fix things in the system as well, that lazy askhole was entertaining everyone by making jokes about Trump, Hilary, “The Wall” and of course threw in a few blonde jokes. Listen, I love a good blonde joke, I honestly do. But when he’s asking me to fix his shit storm while fucking around and I’m the only one that can fix it and I’m BLONDE…come on dude, it chapped my ass a little. As they say, there’s a time and a place for things like that. Asking the blonde to help you out while telling a blonde joke and slacking off while you should be working is not too clever.
At that point I decided I was tired of him using me to fix his issues and obviously he didn’t listen to me the last time he did this so it was time for him to learn a lesson. Around 4:00 today I walked my sarcastic ass up front to his cubicle where he was sprawled out with his hands behind his head talking smack to the other salesmen. This special order he wanted me to fix was due to his boss by 4:15. I approach “They’ve performed an update in the system so it won’t allow me to manipulate the order this time Frank. You’re going to have to be a big boy and figure it out yourself or get with the controller to help you.” He and the Controller despise each other. He starts stuttering “Bu-bu-but you said you would get to it today. You’ve always hooked me up before. Can’t you go to the controller and get him to fix it for you, he likes you.”
“Man the fuck up Frank. You’ve been fucking around all day telling lame ass jokes and personally I’m sick of hearing your whiny bitch voice. You’re just sucking up air and wi-fi and everyone knows you’re not selling shit. You have the right to be lazy and worthless but you’re abusing it at this point. It’s time for you to kiss the controllers ass and make nice to get what you want or you can try to fix it yourself. Ooops, you don’t know how to fix it do you? Because you have more important shit to do like tell jokes and look stupid. Either way good luck with that shit.” I sauntered off as I heard the other salesmen gasp and turn their chairs back around to their computers avoiding the look on his face.
That’s what you get Frank. That’s what you get….LOSER.