Alive & Grumpy

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What a fucking week it’s been. Long story but work has got me like…..averaging 45 throat punches in my mind per hour. I’ve been feeling a lot like the guy in this video below to the left in the white shirt…

Nooooo, I would not do this. I won’t say EVER but if someone gets under your skin like the fuck nugget that keeps throwing the paperclips they might just push you over the breaking point. But, that’s how I would fight, smack him over the head with the fucking keyboard. Yeppers!

Soooo, hopefully I’ll catch up with all of you loves this weekend and also post some meaningful stuff or rant about my work week. But for now I must have coffee!!!!

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Have a fucking fantastic Thursday! XOXO

 

Techy Friends – Advice Needed

So, I have this blog and another one that I run. The other one is an X rated one that I post short sex stories and also have other writer’s to post as well. It’s a shared blog of sorts. But, my problem is when I’m reading posts while logged in here on Fabulous With Glitches and I’m liking your posts and trying to comment, it pulls up a screen telling me to log in under the other blog. It will not allow me to comment unless I log into that account. But Wait! Sometimes, it doesn’t, I can like/comment under this blog.

What the fuck? Anyone know how to guide me to fix this issue? Any advice is welcome and please talk to me as if I’m a remedial case because I truly am. I’m not a techy person and struggle big time with this sort of thing. I’ve googled it to try to find the answer but no such luck.

Thanks in advance!

Cake By The Ocean

My aunt is in her early fifties so she’s few years older than me. She’s one of my closest and best friends. She used to babysit me and likes to tell me stories about when I was a toddler and how I would blow snot bubbles out of my nose. She used to have to barricade herself from me with a baby gate to keep me away from her barbies. For some odd reason I liked ripping the heads off with my teeth. I guess I was a psychotic blonde blue eyed little cherub? Don’t single me out though…..come on, most toddlers are weird. When I see them they remind me of drunk people. They’re always stumbling around as if they don’t know where they live or where they’re going. They put their fingers up their nose and look dazed, confused and let’s face it, you can’t understand a word they’re saying can you? They’re slurred and drooling, are they not?

We went to visit my Aunt and Uncle a couple of weeks ago for a weekend trip. It consisted of  drinking, swearing, listening to music, eating, shopping, repeat. We always have a blast with them.

She texts me yesterday….

“What does Cake By The Ocean mean? I like this song.”

Keep in mind my personality is a mix of Amy Schumer and Tina Fey. My Aunt believes anything I tell her. She’s such an easy target for me.

Me: “Anal sex on the beach with a broom handle. Cut that shit off. You’re listening to porn music!”

Aunt: “LOL, I thought it meant sex! Geez, I like that song. Guess I’ll have to find another song to run through my head!”

Me: “Just kidding, it’s sex on the beach.”

Aunt: “LOL! You had me fooled! I need to be more street/music savvy. You’ll understand when you’re in your 50’s.”

Me: “50’s ain’t shit! You still got it going on. You drink, listen to rap, hip hop, swear, have weed in your fridge and go to Sunday School…you’re the coolest people I know. I hope I’m like you when I’m 50!”

Aunt: “I told you about the weed?”

Me: “Yep, your drunk ass offered us some. Everything else you told me is a secret. My lips are sealed.”

Ha! God I love her so much. She didn’t tell me any deep dark secrets while she was drunk thank goodness but she could if she wanted to. I would take it to the grave with me. Of course, there’s always the exception here with posting it if it’s funny. But, that’s OK, I don’t use my real name or her name at all so it’s still safe. I adore her. She’s the one person in my family that I can be myself with and she loves me unconditionally. She would follow my blog if I told her about it. One day I might. Moments with her I cherish. She’s more like a big sister than an Aunt. I really wish we lived closer. I miss her.

Anyway, hoping all of you have an Aunt like mine that is accepting, non-judgemental, that you can confide in and be loved unconditionally.

If you’ve not listened to Cake By The Ocean by DNCE check it out below and why haven’t you heard it? They play the hell out of it on the radio? 🙂

Happy Friday Loves!

Hump Day Shenanigans

Celebrating National Puppy Day & Hump Day….

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Why not plaster a little mutt junk? A rod shot? Disco stick? Mr. Johnson? Kickstand? Tripod? No lipstick out though….Ha!

Colby Cheese is 16 years old…still single and ready to mingle. He does suffer from sundowners dementia but is medicated for that. It’s under control. He enjoys short walks, cheese squares, and of course humping. Any takers?

Hug your puppies loves!

SO, AM I LIVING THE DREAM?

~Reblogging~ A new friend….Do you ever stumble across someone that you have an immediate connection with? All Hale To Joan…love her style and have quite a few things in common with her. Check her out 🙂

JUST JOAN 42

Uncork the champagne and get ready to celebrate!  Today marks the first anniversary of my retirement.  How’s it going?  Well, some of my plans came to fruition and some of them fizzled.  Overall, my job-free life has been full of surprises.  And the inner me has turned out to be someone I didn’t know quite as well as I thought I did.

Early on, I discovered that my authentic self cannot sleep in past 7:30.  Some days, she bypasses the shower and “goes commando.”  Her house and car are no cleaner than they ever were.  She eats out more than in, and has a fondness for hole-in-the-wall ethnic joints and food trucks.  She pledges allegiance to yoga, but has yet to sign up for a class.  The same is true of remedial obedience training for the dogs.  She wastes countless hours scrolling through FaceBook.  She put aside her disdain for TV and blew through seven seasons of The…

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Thursday’s Good Humor

~Reblogging~ I’m pressed for time this morning so thought I’d share an old post and a funny one at that, Happy Hump Day Ya’ll!

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Quite a few of my followers are in different countries, scattered all over the world. Some have asked if I have a southern accent. I thought about doing a video and of myself but I’ll save that for some other time. I’m sure some of you have seen these videos but it always cracks me up when I watch them. This is episode 1 of Sh%t Southern Women Say so you get an idea of how some of us talk down here. I’m guilty of many of these scenarios, especially “Bless his heart” and “Fixin’ to kick your ass”.  Enjoy 🙂

Courtesy of Youtube –

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Dating Chronicles: The Stripper Experiment Part I

~Reblogging~ This story is addictive. My friend Dan is an incredible writer and this is about his life. I’m hooked…This is Part I and he’s posted five segments. Check it out!

I Can't Make This Shit Up!

Part of the purpose of this blog for me was to write about my life experiences. I’ve spent a great deal of time documenting my most memorable dating experiences during the past five years since my divorce. Here is another one of those experiences that turned into three of the craziest months of my life. I will be breaking this into a couple installments as I’ve just finished the first part and am over 2000 words!

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Let’s rewind about 4 years. I was going through a real dating rut at the time (wait, it hasn’t changed.) I had been dating a white collar bank executive for a short period of time that never felt truly comfortable. We were just on opposite ends of the spectrum with interests and lifestyles. I gave it a healthy chance, but true chemistry never settled-in for me. After ending this short-lived attempt, I decided to sign-up and try a…

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Adorable Badass

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Mugs up loves! Let’s all be adorable badass misfits today shall we?  Let’s rock Tuesday’s world! We’ll turn it upside down and then drive home laughing at it with a fuck you attitude. Tuesday can suck our balls, well, I don’t have any balls, but I do have fabulous boobs so they’ll just have to do. 🙂 Go stir things up loves and make it a fantastic day!

 

 

What Do You Do?

Hey Loves,

It’s Sunday and I’m basically doing not much of anything. While I sit here preparing blogs for the week and getting my mindset for Monday I can’t help but wonder…what do all of you do for a living? How do you earn your paycheck? Maybe you’re a housewife – hardest job ever! Stay at home Dad? Possibly retired? If you’re retired what did you do? If you don’t work, what would you like to do for a living? If you’re on disability, what is your disability? School me on your lives will you?

What do I do? I sell industrial parts for forklifts, sweepers, utility carts, and scissor lifts. I purchase all of the parts for our company, keep the inventory discrepancies low, quote parts, invoice the clients for the parts. I also go out to call on customer’s from time to time or to “fix” their issues. I also help out the other departments with our software and training new people.

Tell me what fills your days?  🙂

 

 

Tears Streaming Down My Face

Lately I’ve been posting rubbish or fluff as I like to call it. Basically slacking on deep stuff and just posting humorous, sarcasm, my rants and hump day shenanigans. I’ve hit a slump on the more serious things I suppose.

First off, I do believe in God. I have a Lord and Savior that I wholeheartedly believe created me and looks out for me. No, I don’t go to church nor do I consider myself to be a “holy roller” or a “bible thumper”. If you read my blog you know without a doubt I’m a sinner and cuss a lot. Actually, it’s not a lot, it’s A LOT. I’m not perfect and neither is anyone else. So, don’t judge me, don’t put me down, don’t preach to me. I know I do bad things. We all do in some way don’t we? That’s a whole different post.

Today on my way home from work I was on a two lane back road with the top down and the sun shining, blaring my music when in my rear view mirror about ten cars back I saw them coming.

I could hear their blaring sirens. I immediately pulled over as quickly as I could and cut my stereo off. As I heard the loud screeching sirens blow by me and the lights flashing it was almost as if I could hear the translation “We’re almost there. Hold on just a little longer. Stay with us. Help is on the way!”

There were two ambulances, one police officer and about four fire trucks that passed me within five minutes. Each time I saw them coming, I pulled over. I couldn’t help but get emotional thinking about what these rescuers go through daily on their jobs. They’re risking their own lives making their way to the victims that need them so desperately. When they arrive to the scene they’re not sure what they will see or witness.

The paramedic’s rush to car accidents saving lives…….the firefighters run into burning homes to save lives…..police arrive at a house where someone has been beaten and burglarized, among other things. The things they go through, see, sacrifice on a daily basis pull at my heartstrings. These are our protectors, our guardians.

It takes an extremely strong, giving, caring selfless person to perform these miracles daily. Just think about it for a minute will you?

When we’re bitching, whining and moaning about going into the office because we’re hungover, tired, or we just don’t want to deal with an annoying co-worker or because we have to train the new guy or we have a new software program we have to learn…..these saviors are enduring so much more. They’re risking it all for you and I. Sure, they chose that career and collect a paycheck BUT they do not get paid nearly enough for being a hero. Just think about their families…..parents of a young firemen worried they’ll get the call that there was that explosion that took the life of their son. The wife of the police officer that gets that knock on the door that her husband has been shot and killed. The husband of the wife that was driving that ambulance when someone didn’t cut down their music and hear or see her coming through the light that hit and killed her.

Do them a favor will you? If you see a paramedic, firefighter, or police officer at Starbucks, the gas station or anywhere buy them a cup of coffee or just say thank you for risking it all for people like you and I. I think they would love to hear a thank you. Another thing, cut your music down, pull over and get out of their way as they’re coming down the highway. I noticed a few people didn’t even pull over or get out of their way when they blew by me. What if they’re on their way to save someone you love? It really shouldn’t matter who they’re trying to save, move the fuck out of the way if you can. Say a quick prayer for their safety as they drive by and for the lives they’re so desperately trying to get to. Because they’re just trying to save us all.

Ironically enough, wanna know what song I was blaring in my car when I saw them in my rear view mirror? Check out the video below. I’m a huge fan of Boyce Avenue and Tyler Ward. I actually think this acoustic version is better than the original by Cold Play.

As I turned my music back on and realized this song was playing I took in that moment of those saviors ahead of me, chills went up my spine and tears streamed down my face…