With it being Wednesday and me procrastinating (my favorite past time) in getting out of my jammies and putting on “Real” clothes this post is short & sweet! Be fucking awesome today loves!!! Only a couple of more days til the weekend. You’ve got this! Now…..onto my day job. Do I really have to? Grrrrrr….
Because today would be Mia’s 44th birthday…..I miss her so much!
This is not my usual style of blogging but thought it needed to be written. There’s a sense of closure once you blog something isn’t there?
I met her in 1987 – We were sophomores in High School. I knew instantly we would be best friends when she walked into class. Her name was Mia.
She was undeniably magical. She wore Liz Claiborne, the original formula and she was the only one I knew that wore it. She had the prettiest most infectious laugh that made you want to be around her. It was almost like a drug. She always wore black and her scarlet red lipstick. She had freckles on her cheeks and a slight copper edgy bob. She drove a maroon 1986 Mustang GT with T-tops.
We hung out everyday at lunch and after school. We had a ton of mutual friends that were an eclectic bunch of…
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Honestly, the only New Year’s resolution that I completed was in August of 2007. Yes, it took me eight months to see it through. But, I accomplished my goal of being smoke free. I had smoked cigarettes for three years. It took me eight months to get it through my thick skull to decide to just do it. I can be quite the procrastinator at times. Once I made up my mind to quit I quit “cold turkey”.
I often wonder why we think we need to make New Year’s resolutions. Why can’t we just decide to make a change in May or any other month? Let’s face it, in most cases when we try to make these resolutions at the first of the year, 90% of us forget about that resolution or lose focus by Feb. Why is that? This is why I don’t set resolutions at the first of the year any more. I actually hate the word resolutions.
If we need a change or want to set goals for ourselves why not do it that day? Why can’t we control our mindset and make things happen? Why do we give up so quickly or think we cannot do it?
If I can quit smoking without any help I can do pretty much anything. WE are much stronger than we think we are. If we set our goals and plan accordingly we can do the impossible.
When I turned 40 I said I would run a 5K marathon before I turned 41. You can imagine how shocked I was a few weeks later when I started training for it. I began the couch to 5k app on my phone and three months later I not only ran a 5K but it also included climbing walls, crawling through muddy trenches under electric fencing and running up A LOT of hills. I cried afterwards because I was so fucking happy it was over with. Ha! Of course, the tears were also happy tears of accomplishment.
There’s something about setting goals for ourselves and attaining them. I’m not just talking about the 5K, quitting smoking, or losing weight. Maybe it’s paying off that credit card, buying a house, or finishing your education. It could possibly be a relationship that isn’t quite where it needs to be or you’re just not happy. Is it time to weigh out those pro’s and con’s and cut the cord and move on? It doesn’t have to be 1/1/16 – it can be whenever you get your mind wrapped around it.
Change can happen any time, any where, at any moment. Don’t be afraid of setting goals for yourself and making your dreams come true. Where the fuck would we be without goals? If we had no goals then we would not have any dreams. Don’t you like having dreams? I sure do. We have to put the plans in place to make our dreams come true.
So, whether you’re setting resolutions for yourself for New Years Day or not, whatever you’re dreaming of….start planning and taking those baby steps because you’re so fucking worth it.
And just like that it’s Monday Eve…..
Most of us are back to work tomorrow and it’s time to get back into our “get shit done” mode.
Each of us have our battles on Monday’s don’t we? Monday’s just aren’t as kind to us as Friday’s.
Sometimes I feel like I’m fighting a battle against the land of toxic waste of negativity at work alone. Have you ever noticed that negative people have a problem with every solution? I know you run into it from time to time yourselves probably. It can’t just be in my office can it?
Often we dread things that are about to happen and have this cynical way of thinking but we manage just fine through it all don’t we?
You see, that’s the thing loves, we’re diamonds and they can’t break us. We’re resilient and everlasting. We should never forget that. As I always say, it’s mind over matter all day every day.
Let’s prep our mindset for tomorrow and roll with the punches as they say. Shit, maybe if it makes us feel better we pretend in our minds we just punched one of those negative fuckers in the throat. Don’t physically go there PLEASE. It’s alright to imagine it. It might make you feel a little better and make you smile, Yes? Many times I slam my stapler over and over again to hear it and pretend it’s someone’s face that just royally pissed me off. Yes, I know, I might need some anger management but it gets me through it and no one gets hurt. That’s what’s important right? My stapler is pretty durable just like myself and you….Ha!
On that note, may your Monday go smoothly, your coffee be incredibly strong, and most of all, you get shit done….
For my listening pleasure tomorrow morning I’ll be ridin’ dirty in my mustang in the morning listening to….This is Why I’m Hot, join me?
Source: Hold Me Up
Throughout the years I’ve made some incredible friends….
I’ve noticed as I get older it’s harder to connect with female friends at my age. For some of you newcomers I’m 44 years old. About nine years ago I relocated to a different city. I’ve not found any chic’s in this area that I’ve bonded with on the level of my other girlfriends in other cities.
Women already have those tight groups of friends already assembled usually at this age. It’s hard to get into these groups for example, it’s a bit like getting a reservation to that newest and latest restaurant that opened up downtown.
In life there are several friendships you’ll have. There’s trial periods, tests, comfort, laughter, arguments, differences, and so on. It’s those challenges that you go through together to see if they’re lasting or not.
There are friendships you might have had through your childhood, high school, or college. You lost your connection but ran into them at a party or in the grocery store and set a lunch date to catch up. You regain that strong friendship by picking up right where you left off. Or, you realize you have nothing in common anymore and your lifestyles are the complete opposite of each other and you’re disconnected.
I have two female friendships that are my “ride or die” girls. They get me. It’s quite hard to explain but I’ll do my best.
Angela – We just reconnected last year and were high school friends. Come to find out we have a lot in common. We also live different lifestyles. She has children and is highly successful. She lives a crazy busy life and honestly I don’t see how she does it all. She’s balancing being a Mom, a bad ass career bitch, taking care of her Father as his health is declining quickly and has a boyfriend to love and spend time with. She’s fucking Super Woman if you ask me. But, she listens to me, encourages me, loves me (the real me). I offer her the same, listening, checking in on her, encouraging her, building her up, etc. She tells me her secrets and I tell her mine (what secrets I have anyways, which isn’t too much, my life seems to be an open book). Although she lives over 2 hours away, we confide in each other and are tight. I adore her and admire her so much.
Rhonnie – Just met her a couple of years ago through social media. She lives far far away. We have an incredible connection like we’ve known each other our entire lives. It’s almost as if we grew up together….it’s actually quite scary. We banter back and forth via text and bust each others balls (If we had some) and when we insult each other we’re pretty much showing our gratitude for one another. For instance, yesterday she texts me her picture of her Starbucks and I mentioned I wondered if ours was open Christmas morning and her response was “probably not down there where you hicks live”. Of course, some would be offended at this but not me, I busted out laughing. Typical Rhonnie. I text back “Eat a bag of limp dicks”. Another example, I paint my nails one day a teal color – guys that’s like the color of a swimming pool (I know you fellas sometimes don’t get the names of colors) anyway I text her a picture of my nails “Whatcha think?” I wait, and wait, and wait and 10 minutes later she replies “You want my honest opinion? Take that shit off, you’re 44 years old and too damn old to wear teenager colors, pull yourself together!” She’s brutally honest with me and I love her for that. Always making me laugh. I love her more than she’ll ever know. But, we’ve never even met in person. That’s the beauty of my friendship with her. I love that we’ve never even met or spoken on the phone but we have this mad real connection.
I also have a dude that I’m pretty tight with too. He’s my work Bestie. I get so tired of hearing that men and women can’t be “just friends” because I honestly think they can be. My personality is pretty much of a “dude sort of trapped in a woman’s body” I’ve been told. I do think like a man at times…like why are anniversaries and Valentine’s Day so fucking important? Why do women need expensive bags, diamonds and shit like that and make lists for the men to go get for their birthdays and such? I’ve forgotten my wedding anniversary twice. Anyway, my work Bestie and I are always cracking jokes and picking on each other. When we pass each other in the hall we karate kick each other. We also have the serious side to us where we support each other and confide in each other about work stuff and talk about our goals, hopes and dreams. He’s married and I’m married but we are great friends. He makes me laugh, believes in me, builds me up and I do the same for him. We even have one of those stupid fist bump things that we do. Basically we’re geeks, dorks, and in this elite club at work which only entails the two of us.
My point to all of this is cherish and value these friendships you have. The older you get the less you’ll find anything like them. Find you’re small gang of Strong, Bad Ass, Direct, Honest, Ride Or Die friends. I’d take a bullet for any of them. Not that that would EVER be necessary but you get my drift. These are friends I respect, admire, and love unconditionally. Friendship is so fucking important whether you’re a chic or a dude. We all need that support, humor, honesty and devotion don’t we?
Let your gang know how much they mean to you and never lose that allegiance to one another.
Warning – This might ruffle some feathers for those of you who have had an affair or are having one currently. It’s just my opinion and my blunt thoughts….Consider yourself warned.
Just recently a friend of mine shared with me what’s been going on with him. I thought I might address this issue by blogging about it. It’s not necessarily a Christmas subject but here it is…..
He’s a Pilot with a commercial airline and had an affair. His wife found out about it and hired a cut throat bad ass attorney. She received half of his pension, child support (as she should if she has full custody), alimony, the beach house, the cabin, and the list goes on and on.
By the end of the mediation’s, hearings, finalizing the divorce, etc. he went from driving his 2014 Porsche 911 to driving a 2008 PT Cruiser. He used to live in a beautiful luxury gated community and is now living in a studio apartment in a sketchy area near the Hood Mart. He’s buying ramen noodles in bulk and sees his kids once a month for a couple of days.
Affairs are Sexy, Hot, Risky, and Tantalizing. They’re also life threatening, self-indulgent, hurtful, unhealthy, and just immoral. Let me add that I’m not judging at all. I’ve had an affair before. I was married to my first husband and things weren’t going well for us at all. Long story short he was mentally abusive, an addict, and we grew out of love with each other. That’s not an excuse for me to have had an affair at all. I shouldn’t have. I’d like to tell you that the affair “just happened” but it really didn’t. I was in a miserable marriage and met the other guy and he came on to me and showed me attention and I caved. My husband never found out about it and I decided I’d had enough of our marriage and we divorced. I wanted to tell him that I’d had an affair but I knew it would hurt him even more so than me leaving him. I refrained from telling him. I didn’t leave him for the other guy at all. I left him to find happiness with me, myself and I. Which, I did after about three years. I only took with me what I brought into the marriage. We didn’t have any children and were renting so we wiped our hands clean of each other and it was pretty peaceful.
Back to the topic of affairs being destructive and such. Whether you’re a man or a woman think about it before you dive into it. A few questions you might want to ask yourself… Do you love your spouse? Do you have a family? Children? How will it affect them if you have this affair? How would you feel if your spouse did this to you? Do you want to lose your pension? You probably work very hard for what you have right? Is that vagina worth losing your family for? Is it gold or encrusted with diamonds? Is that penis that damn good? Is it shooting glitter into your vagina that makes you feel tingly all over or what? Seriously…think about this shit before you put your stick in that vagina will you? Ladies, I don’t care if the other guy is a boxer with a twelve pack, do you want to lose everything you have? I think not.
I would like to make some suggestions to you before stepping out on your spouse….
Fellas: Get that mental image of the hottest woman ever (Kate Upton, Scarlett Johannson, Salma Hayek, or Meagan Good) and jack yourself off for Christ Sake!
Ladies: Get your mental image of the hottest guy ever (Javier Bardem, Chris Hemsworth, Charlie Hunnam or Idris Elba) and get your favorite toy and have at it.
Watch some fucking porn! There are other avenues to choose from than to have an affair and lose everything you worked hard for including your marriage.
Are you understanding what I’m saying? Pensions, bank accounts, homes, children, husband, wife, the dog, the friends and family you’re surrounded by. It not only affects you and your immediate family but your parents, your in-laws, your friends, and the list goes on and on.
I’ve not even touched on the “other guy” or “other woman” and how they could possibly being fucking psychotic have I? Are you thinking “Oh, there’s that…” Fuck Yeah there’s that. They could stalk your ass and find your home, your family as seen in many movies and really fuck up your life.Have you seen Dateline or 48 Hours? People get shot and stabbed all the time over affairs. So, think about it before you have an affair and the outcome of it is all I’m saying. Think about what could possibly happen and how it could turn your life upside down. Capeesh?
Just my advice and my opinion…. XOXO
Enjoy your Christmas Loves!
Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. I honestly look so forward to it….not for the gifts or the shopping and all of the hoopla. It’s a magical time of year for friends, family, and thoughtfulness. This picture above is of our Christmas tree. I could sit and stare at it for hours. Each ornament has a story behind it. Sure, it’s cluttered and nothing really matches and there’s really no theme at all but it’s a sum of places we’ve been, gifts from family and friends, pictures, even Christmas cards from our loved ones.
As you can see there are gifts under the tree but mostly just for the children in our family…nieces, nephews, and little cousins. It feels as if the older I get the more commercialized Christmas has gotten to be. My very dear best friend Rhonnie reminded me of that this morning when we were texting each other. The trees are up in stores before Halloween. It’s insane how much they push the gift purchasing, commercials, black Friday and so forth.
Isn’t Christmas about Jesus being born and spending time with loved ones and cherishing these special moments? Of course, I understand Santa Claus and the children sitting in his lap and so excited for Christmas morning. But, what about reading the true story of Christmas to the children and how we celebrate Jesus being born? What about also telling them the story of Twas The Night Before Christmas? Those are the things I remember most about my childhood Christmas’s. Not the dolls, games, candies, etc that I received. It was the moments of reading those stories with my family or chasing my brother around the tree.
This year my mother and I decided we wouldn’t exchange gifts. She said it’s about our love for each other. She’s also had a rough year financially and is having to support my brother…(long story). Anyway, I decided to take my friend Jean’s advice on a Thank You letter to my Mom. You can check out her blog about a Christmas Letter To Her Dad here on this link https://wordpress.com/read/post/id/19162911/12396
My Thank You letter will be my gift to her. I’m thanking her for being in labor with me for over 24 hours and giving birth to a 9 lb 10 oz baby girl. The struggle was real for my Mom don’t you agree? My Dad wasn’t even there to be by her side. Instead he was shooting pool in some shady bar and then later said he “hit a deer” on the way to the hospital. No proof of that or damage on the car by the way. Typical of my Dad. Anyway, the point is that I want my Mom to have a sentimental Christmas gift straight from my heart. She wasn’t the perfect Mom but is there a perfect Mom? She made some mistakes along the way and it wasn’t the best childhood ever but I can tell you this, she did the best she could with what she had. I am blessed for all she did for me and my brother growing up. I want to thank her for that.
The meaning of Christmas to me is counting my blessings, thankfulness of every single thing in my life. Reaching out to family and friends and telling them how much they mean to me. Christmas cards are my joy each year. I absolutely LOVE receiving them. In fact, today I reached out to each person that sent us a card and then sent them an e-mail thanking them for remembering us and how much it meant to us to hear from them.
To me, that’s what Christmas is about. I don’t want anything for Christmas. I have all I could EVER need. I’ve informed my hubby DO NOT buy me anything whatsoever. I will be livid if he does. Just having him in my life is my gift.
I hope all of you have a very Merry & Bright Christmas. Remember those that you care about and love and let them know what they mean to you.