Loosen up loves, it’s just Monday. No reason to tighten up those ass cheeks. You’re not about to have an enema or a colonoscopy are you? Or maybe you are? Well, if you are, lube up for the invasion eh?
Monday’s are a bitch sometimes but we’ve battled through every Monday before this one so I sense we can handle another one, Yes? Of course we can.
We’re going to crash into Monday like we’re driving 120 mph in a 1970 Chevelle. <= (My dream car by the way). We’re going to get out of that Chevelle like we’re wearing some black leather pants, kick ass boots and balls the size of our heads. That’s right mother fuckers, we’ve got tenacity, fearlessness, and determination.
First of all, we’re not built to be safe. We’re risk takers. If you’re not, live a little Puh-lease. Don’t you ever be afraid to fail. I mean, Ever. Take chances this Monday. Think outside of the box. Do something different and out of the ordinary.
Get noticed at work. Engage with your boss. Contribute every single day. Be present! If you’re feeling insecure, afraid, or inadequate, change your attitude. Swallow your doubt and know that you’re larger than any obstacle that comes your way.
Mind over matter all day, every day. Where’s your confidence? Hello? (In my Adele voice) Anyone in there? You better pull your shit together and hustle.
Listen up loves, Lennon can’t stand pity parties I’m just telling you right now. I believe in myself and I believe in each of you. Deep down you’re a fighter and you love yourself, I mean, you really really love yourself. And if you don’t, wake the fuck up right now.
Do you ever play the lottery? How about gamble on yourself Monday? I’m betting on you….you’re worth it. Don’t you think so? We’re all winners here.
What’s higher than #1? Ahem….You! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Swag your ass into the office tomorrow with the attitude that you’re higher than #1 and you’ll have a shield for the unnecessary theatrical bullshit. Those negative douchebag’s in the office will bounce off your blockade and fall on their asses hopefully.
Let’s focus on possibilities and stop focusing on dumb shit. If those haters try to reel you into their dimness and self loathing, Remember they’re just the glitter and you’re the fucking diamond. Got it?
Now, let’s rise up and get what we deserve tomorrow!