Self Stimulating Monday Morning

Warning: You’ll now find that I have a twisted mind if you didn’t already know this. Some might say this is X-Rated – Maybe not? Anyway, consider yourself warned.

On with the Monday Eve prep….

As I was thinking about motivating myself and anyone who reads my blog for Monday’s circus at work tomorrow – I thought…”Self Stimulation!”

How about a big hot cup of yourself tomorrow morning?

Twisted as it may sound, why not fuck yourself before work? It will bring that “Go Fuck Yourself” to a whole new level. Everyone masturbates right? Why not do that on Monday morning to start the day off with a BANG?

If you have a significant other pounce on them first thing tomorrow morning and spread the motivation so their Monday isn’t so boring. Give them a piece of your swag to take to the office with them.

I mean who doesn’t feel fantastic after an incredible orgasm, how could you possibly have a bad day after getting off?

How many times do we run into someone at work that if you gave them a straw they’d suck the happiness right out of you? Don’t we all think to ourselves “Damn, he needs to get laid.” Well, lets all get laid tomorrow morning!

I need motivation every Monday Eve like the Pope needs his rosary beads. I know, I know, I shouldn’t reference the Pope when blogging about masturbating. I have a warped and twisted mind. Didn’t I mention that in the beginning of this blog? You couldn’t help yourself could you? You had to keep reading.

I believe it’s possible that we might just walk into work as a Limited Edition. We’ll ooz confidence so much that we give off this ora of “fuck you, I’m the shit” without ever opening our mouths.

So, on that note, go fuck yourselves in the morning loves and enjoy every second of it. Monday is going to be Fantastic!

XOXO

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23 comments

  1. ferddhie · November 2, 2015

    Lol I’ll defo keep this in mind for a rainy dayπŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lennon Carlyle · January 10, 2016

    Reblogged this on Fabulous With Glitches and commented:

    Cheating On Monday Eve’s Post…Worth Reblogging I think!

    Like

  3. plotless1 · January 11, 2016

    That’s a damn good idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. tessa tells all · January 11, 2016

    Now this is a way to start a Monday! It could become a habit for me…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. sepultura13 · January 11, 2016

    Excellent advice! I like to ‘surprise’ the hubster some mornings, LOL
    …and sometimes, I’ll do myself if he’s out for a few hours! Nothing wrong with a little bit of ‘self’ time…
    πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Self Stimulating Monday – For friends without borders
  7. Elizabeth Helmich · February 29, 2016

    This idea makes complete and total sense to me! Yay for Fuck Mondays!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Self Stimulating Monday Morning | Fabulous With Glitches
  9. Dr Meg Sorick · May 1, 2016

    The first time I’ve been told to go fuck myself and I’ve actually thought, hell yeah, I will! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Woebegone but Hopeful · May 2, 2016

    OK, as a 64/65 old stuffy brit male I ask myself ‘Err, should be reading this old chap? Very..umm….well y’know. Might give the dear wife…err the wrong idea…about yourself..all these…err..ladies..talking about…well y’know?’
    On the other hand (oooooops!)…the logic from one point of view does sounds flawless.
    (You’ll excuse me, but these days I opt for a large British cup of tea and WordPress to start m’day- less exacting)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lennon Carlyle · May 2, 2016

      Ha! Well, wait until the wife heads out to get groceries possibly? LOL Either way, I hope your Monday is a good one!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Woebegone but Hopeful · May 2, 2016

        Heavens my dear lady! We always get the shopping (as we say in the UK) together!! As is common in our marriage my dear wife does the organising and I do the lifting…..(oh dear that could be misconstrued?).
        Anyway alter-ego aside! LoLs.
        Your blog is a fine mix of outrageous with humour and a good slice of truth (whether we admit to it or not).
        Keep on keeping on!.
        Enjoy your Monday (oh dear, now that sounds inappropriate too!….I’m going have to have another cuppa tea…and a plain rich tea biscuit- and maybe dig holes in the garden).
        ‘Bye for now

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lennon Carlyle · May 3, 2016

        Thank you ever so much for always being so kind. And I enjoyed my Monday for sure πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  11. liverpoolmunky76 · May 3, 2016

    I try every now and again to start the morning off like that, it leaves you less tense if nothing else πŸ˜€
    Great post as always Ms Carlyle

    Liked by 1 person

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