Let me set the scene for ya….
I was “analyzin’ my game” at 34 years old, single and having the absolute time of my life. Not necessarily living large but I was thrilled to be successful with a career, making lots of money, and had tons of girlfriends to hit the clubs with. I can remember dancing my ass off in my red leather bustier and tight mini skirt to “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls and thinking to myself “Yeah, I’m the shit, I got moves assholes, watch out!” So funny now…..I crack myself up.
Dating was a past time kinda thing for me. Occasionally I’d meet a guy or someone would set me up. I went out with a state trooper, sales exec, professor, lawyer, tobacco farmer, electrician, you name it. I tried the sampler platter. But, as soon as they got comfortable with me….sending flowers, making plans to meet their parents, or dropping the L word I would break up with them on a voice mail or e-mail or however I could without doing it face to face.”Fuck that noise!” was constantly in my brain. “Ain’t nobody gonna tie me down.”
Several of my friends and even my Mom actually talked me into seeing a shrink about the “Big C”. Nope, not cancer, Commitment. That was a serious problem for me. I couldn’t even commit to a parking pass at work or joining a gym.
I’d been married before and I had NO, I mean NO intentions of EVER doing that again. The shrink saw me twice and told me there wasn’t a thing wrong with me when it came to the “Big C” that it was going to take a VERY strong man to handle me and to accept my independence and not wanting to be snuggled, cuddled, and romanced to death. Thank God, I wasn’t being committed (how ironic?) and I could tell my friends and my Mom to back off.
Two weeks later a friend of mine told me about Brian. Brian was from NY and lived behind us and had recently went through a divorce. He lived alone, worked at a local company and had no family and not many friends in the area. I’m a very outgoing person and I’ve always felt, you can’t really have enough friends. Guy friends are the BEST. You can call them when you have a flat tire, need a a guys opinion about something, they’ll be brutally honest about anything you ask them.
I dropped by one day with cookies and introduced myself. He looked at me as if I were a ghost. Almost as if I were invisible. He barely said Hi or thanks for the cookies. Weirdo. Who doesn’t like cookies for Christ sake?
A few weeks later I ran into him at a cook out and recognized him immediately and tried to avoid him. Seriously, he has to be a little special to not appreciate a gorgeous girl like me dropping by with cookies and wanting to be his friend.
He approaches me and starts out with “I’m really sorry for the way I acted when you dropped by with the cookies a few weeks ago. I’m just not used to a beautiful woman pulling up in my driveway bringing me cookies.” Great come back right? Nod your head….hell yes it is!
We hung out every night it seemed like after that with my friends and just watching TV, eating, listening to music, talking about our lives. We had so much in common. It was so bizarre. I tried fixing him up with a few of my girls without any success whatsoever. About 4 weeks later we were having dinner and I mentioned to him that he should try an on line dating site and start sampling the dating scene….that’s when he said “Why would I do that? I have you.” At that moment I thought I was having a heart attack. It was almost as if I had stopped breathing and my eyes were shut and I were lying on a cold slab in a hospital and the doctor used the defibrillator on my chest and BAM! I was Alive!
With the sudden jolt to the heart, I knew instantly that I liked him too and maybe possibly loved him. Everything we had done before that second flashed before my eyes and seemed to fall into place. It was kind of like a Tiffany Box sitting in front of me and I could open it and the gift could be all mine.
Let me tell you about this man. He’s a red-blooded, hard working, witty, wisecrack, handsome as the day is long kinda guy. We’re connected like no one I’ve ever known in my life. He’s my ride or die guy. As Fabolous & Ne-Yo sing, “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together.” He makes me. He understands how opinionated I am, my strength, my bluntness, my strong will, gutsiness and he accepts me at my worst and my best and still loves me. I don’t even think my Mother would love me at my worst as I don’t think I’ve shown my worst to anyone but HIM. He laughs with me, he’s the reason I laugh. Always making me better than I ever could imagine I could be.
Who knew I could ever find someone as good as this man? We moved in together, married and here we are 8 years later….
He holds me up. He let’s me be me just the way that I am. He’s never tried to change me nor have I ever tried to change him. I love him with everything in me.
So there you have it friends. I have a softer side…but in my sassy sarcastic voice “Shut up, stop laughing, and go suck a dick”