You Broke Her

This is not my usual style of blogging but thought it needed to be written. There’s a sense of closure once you blog something isn’t there?

I met her in 1987 – We were sophomores in High School. I knew instantly we would be best friends when she walked into class. Her name was Mia.

She was undeniably magical. She wore Liz Claiborne, the original formula and she was the only one I knew that wore it. She had the prettiest most infectious laugh that made you want to be around her. It was almost like a drug. She always wore black and her scarlet red lipstick. She had freckles on her cheeks and a slight copper edgy bob. She drove a maroon 1986 Mustang GT with T-tops.

We hung out everyday at lunch and after school. We had a ton of mutual friends that were an eclectic bunch of mixed athletes, cheerleaders, punk rockers and ROTC kids. We would ride around for hours listening to Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leopard and Night And Day By Al B. Sure and sing at the top of our lungs racing whoever revved up their engine next to us. She knew how to drive to say the least.

After graduation everyone went their separate ways whether it be to college, work, marriage, babies, or whatever. She became an EMT in our hometown and fell in love with a fireman. They soon got married and had two beautiful boys.

We kept in touch via Facebook and whenever I would visit we’d have a girls night out and catch up. A few more years went by and she and her husband called it quits. She had custody of the boys and her ex had them every other weekend.

Mia had a seizure one day while driving to work and was in a car accident. She was diagnosed with epilepsy and lost her job. She moved in with her brother. He was amazing and a helping co-parent with the boys.

This is when her ex husband seized the opportunity to mentally antagonize her. He would constantly tell her she was worthless and had nothing to offer their children or anyone for that matter. He beat her down verbally every chance he got. He would tell her that she was disgusting and asked her one time “Why don’t you just end your life so that we can get on with ours?”

Little did we know that he had said these things to her. Not even her own brother or closest circle knew this. She kept it bottled up until one day she gave up. She had taken all she could from him. She honestly believed she was worthless after he told her over and over again how pathetic she was. He had brain washed her into thinking she was a burden in her mind. She was tired of fighting, begging, and pleading to see her boys.

That day Mia decided to write a note explaining to her loved ones that she had nothing left to offer and how her ex husband brought it to light. She went into detail of the things he had said to her and how painful it had been to hear but how she knew it was true. She said she was sick and her heart was breaking for her boys but she thought they would have a much happier life without her and without the bickering between her and her ex. She wrote each one of them a letter telling them how much she adored them and how she would be watching over them for the rest of their lives.

She took every single one of her medications and by doing so it caused her to have multiple seizures. Her body convulsed so much that it snapped her neck and many of her bones. She died a horrific painful death by the hand of her own and HIS. He broke her into pieces.

Why would anyone EVER put someone down like this? How could someone be so evil? Why didn’t we know? Why didn’t she tell us what she was going through? I often think about these questions and what were the signs that we missed? What IF?

I’m not blogging about this to bring you or anyone down. I’m a very positive, motivating, strong person but I learned a very costly lesson. I wanted to share Mia’s story with you to use this as an example of how we should always be PRESENT in people’s lives that we care about. I also wanted all of you to realize under no circumstances should you EVER allow someone to break you.

You are not weak or worthless. Mia was none of those things. She was an incredible mother, friend, sister, and had so much more to live for. The depression and his evil words broke her down. There was only one of Mia and there is only one of YOU. You have inner strength. You also have people that love you and will be strong for you. Tell them what you’re going through. Let them know you are hurting. They will help build you up. They’ll remind you of what you mean to them and how you’ve inspired them or gotten them through something difficult. We lean on each other.

Don’t you dare hide your pain and suffer alone. Dig deep and fight for yourself. I assure you, you are so worth the fight. Understand that you have so much more inside of you wanting to get out – Let yourself shine. Do not give them the power. We all deserve blissfulness. It might not be happening right this second but it will. Give yourself a chance.

You have wings…spread them and fly! I’m betting on you and I never lose. Pick that beautiful chin up and know you are magnificent. Are you reading this? Are you hearing me? Wake up and look in the mirror and tell yourself “You do not need validation from anyone. You are a fighter and fearless. You have something to offer.”

I hope this helps someone one day. I wish I could’ve said these things to Mia but it’s too late. I didn’t know. I should’ve been there for her and known. I can’t change that. But, I can help motivate and inspire others through my blog.

I loved her and I cherish my memories with her. I’ll never forget her and when I wear scarlet red lipstick she’s with me. She’s smiling and laughing that beautiful laugh of hers. I miss you Mia.

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Self Stimulating Monday Morning

Warning: You’ll now find that I have a twisted mind if you didn’t already know this. Some might say this is X-Rated – Maybe not? Anyway, consider yourself warned.

On with the Monday Eve prep….

As I was thinking about motivating myself and anyone who reads my blog for Monday’s circus at work tomorrow – I thought…”Self Stimulation!”

How about a big hot cup of yourself tomorrow morning?

Twisted as it may sound, why not fuck yourself before work? It will bring that “Go Fuck Yourself” to a whole new level. Everyone masturbates right? Why not do that on Monday morning to start the day off with a BANG?

If you have a significant other pounce on them first thing tomorrow morning and spread the motivation so their Monday isn’t so boring. Give them a piece of your swag to take to the office with them.

I mean who doesn’t feel fantastic after an incredible orgasm, how could you possibly have a bad day after getting off?

How many times do we run into someone at work that if you gave them a straw they’d suck the happiness right out of you? Don’t we all think to ourselves “Damn, he needs to get laid.” Well, lets all get laid tomorrow morning!

I need motivation every Monday Eve like the Pope needs his rosary beads. I know, I know, I shouldn’t reference the Pope when blogging about masturbating. I have a warped and twisted mind. Didn’t I mention that in the beginning of this blog? You couldn’t help yourself could you? You had to keep reading.

I believe it’s possible that we might just walk into work as a Limited Edition. We’ll ooz confidence so much that we give off this ora of “fuck you, I’m the shit” without ever opening our mouths.

So, on that note, go fuck yourselves in the morning loves and enjoy every second of it. Monday is going to be Fantastic!

XOXO

Choose You

image

All of us have been in a relationship and have taken a loss. Whether it’s you letting someone go or you being let go.

It took me cutting the cord to a past relationship to find myself. Being consumed with fixing someone or trying to persuade them into loving us is exhausting.

Although we might love them and they’re in love with us….it just might not be enough.

If the person you’re in the relationship with doesn’t build you up or encourage you to grow then you’re not with the right person.

I assure you that you deserve more. We’re all worthy of our soulmates and deserve unconditional love.

A break up is a learning experience. Always choose YOU. Accept your flaws, glitches, quirks and fall deeply in love with yourself.

The second you believe in yourself and gain your swag the right person will find you.

You’re awesome so start fucking believing it already!

Dig Your Way Out

Evaluate

At times I find myself surrounded by a toxic wasteland of bodies. I’m thinking some of you do too.

We have to evaluate the circumstances. There are family members, co-workers, friends and so on that are a part of our circle.

Cancel the subscription to the unnecessary bullshit. It’s really a burial ground.

Do not allow these destructive people to pull you into circling the drain with them. It’s mind over matter all day, every day.

Take a knife and cut the fucking cord already. Make the change and flip the switch. Come at them with positive responses. Compliment them on something you find significant about them. There’s something good in everyone. Sometimes you have to use a magnifying glass but it’s there.

Resist the wreckage. Clear out the debri. Don’t allow these people to suck the happiness out of your soul. Put light into their dark tunnel.

Digging your way out will be gratifying. You might also be influential to these toxic people. Positivity spreads like a wildfire. Shouldn’t we all bring value to each other?

This game of life can be hard on us…. “A great spirit rises from the ashes.”

43 On Fleek

I know, I know, who says Fleek anymore right? Some 20 somethings might say “That’s sooooo early 2015.” Well, I love using the word Fleek and especially in my forties.

Definition of Fleek: On point

That’s right….I feel like I’m on Fleek and on point if you will. I’ve finally gained my confidence, fearlessness, and my self-possession. I own this shit!

There’s a certain amount of satisfaction that we’ve eased into in our years. We’ve embraced our flaws, wrinkles, a few speed bumps along the way and how far we’ve come.

And whatever you do, don’t count us out yet. Don’t you feel like your life has just begun sometimes at this age? Almost like the light bulb has went off in our brains that we’re pretty extravagant. Am I the only one that feels this way?

Feels like we have been under wraps and have now come to the forefront of life and have an advantage over the younger generation.

We’ve secured our swagger. Yeah, that’s another favorite word of mine. Swagger. Say it! Sounds amazing when you say it about yourself doesn’t it?

Grasp the idea in your mind that you are on Fleek at whatever age and OWN it. Take in these moments of contentment as we have graduated to the upper class. We’re no longer freshmen. Just think about the knowledge we have and how we’re one up on the 20 & 30 somethings.

We’re fierce and unforgettable! One more thing, you can wear that red lipstick so get your ass upstairs and put it on!

XOXO

Charming On A Monday?

How about we pump ourselves up for Monday shall we?

The week is about to begin and I don’t know about you Loves but something inside of me dreads Monday’s.

I’ve relaxed and had so much fun this weekend. I don’t ever want it to end. But, as we all know…..it’s about the dolla bills ya’ll.

What if we all wake up tomorrow and instantly hit the ground running with the idea we don’t need validation from anyone. We’re wearing our favorite shade of armor of course that’s our lipstick and everybody needs to get out of our way because we’re gonna kill it.

Doesn’t that sound magnificent? Who’s with me? Let us be proud bad ass women tomorrow!

Let us remember that we’re invincible and we’ll make this Monday our Bitch!

Have a great day tomorrow! XOXO

Coffee Adventures In Atlanta

I run on coffee, sarcasm, messy hair and lip gloss on Saturday mornings.

Today’s coffee adventure was to The Dancing Goats Coffee Bar in Midtown.

Fantastic contemporary little haunt of a place.

Dancing Goat Pic

B had a caramel latte and a blueberry pastry and I had the iced caramel coffee with almond milk with the sticky toffee muffin. A-Mazing! Loved the atmosphere and the rustic modern feel it had. The line was out the door so you know it’s incredible if there’s a line right?

Maybe we should make this an every Saturday morning routine? Sampling all of the coffee bars all over the city? Not a bad idea.

Happy Saturday Loves XOXO